• You are not a person, but almost six pissed-off octopodes.
  • Clicked the wrong button on Amazon.
  • Trying to collect the full set.
  • Because your next door neighbor is Alphonse “46 Guns” Henderson, and fuck that guy.
  • Own a gun museum.
  • Own a gun-themed bed-and-breakfast in Vermont where, each fall, visitors come to shoot at the foliage.
  • Motherfuckers won’t listen.
  • Due to a congenital birth defect, possess 47 times more freedom than average American.
  • One more and you get a free turkey sub and small cola.
  • Her e-mails.
  • A good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun, but a good guy with 47 guns can stop 47 bad guys.
  • They said you couldn’t, but you believed in yourself.
  • Because owning 48 guns would be gauche.