OPERATION WASP SPEED Enormous wasps’ nests will be installed at the CDC and hooked up to timers. If the scientists don’t invent a vaccine by November 1st, the wasps are released.
OPERATION WAMP SPEED Same basic concept as Operation Wasp Speed, but with wampas.
OPERATION WAP SPEED This one’s racist, and I apologize to any and all Italian-American Enthusiasts, even the greasy ones.
OPERATION WHOOMP SPEED “Hey, where’s the corona vaccine?” “WHOOMP! There it is.”
OPERATION WHALE SPEED How fast a whale goes depends on its species, I suppose. Killer whales? Speedy! Ambling Whales? Well, they didn’t get the name ironically.
OPERATION WATUSI SPEED Vaccine sock hop! Vaccine sock hop!
What the fuck does “Vaccine sock hop” mean?
The scientists are, like, in their socks and doing early-60’s dances. They have their PPE and their pipettes and they’re writing up grants, the whole deal, but they’re shagging and frugging and swimming and, like the name suggests, doing the watusi. Allfather Trump thinks it will improve morale.
Why would he believe that?
He’s a goddamned idiot.
Take a nap.
Benzadrine.
Doesn’t cure anything but hey.