That fat guy’s gonna hug up on you.

“I see him. Got 50 years of ID’ing the over-enthusiastic.”

Sure.

“I miss the old days. Some rando grabbed you? You had him beaten. It was cleaner. Now there’s lawsuits and everything.”

What if it was a female rando?

“Then you got some free tit. Tee-shirts were thinner back then. Chick hugged you, you were getting tit.”

But you wouldn’t have her beaten?

“Oh, never. Not even if they were ugly. You gotta give an ugly chick some time every once in a while. Otherwise, they go sideways on you. But, no: can’t have women beaten. Bad form. That’s some Led Zeppelin shit.”

Why are you somewhere so cold?

“There was an enormous check waiting for me here.”

Good reason.

“The very best reason there is.”

At least put a hat on.

“Fuck off.”