Suggestions For A New Oscar Host

BN3E, a Cosmodyne model host-droid pre-programmed with both topical material and “In Memoriam” mode.
Tiffany Haddish.
Clint Eastwood’s imaginary stool.
Neil Patrick Harris. (NPH has been calling the producers six times a day since Kevin Hart stepped down; trust me.)
Emmet Otter and his jug band.
The surviving cast of Designing Women.
One of those K-pop groups that unpleasant American teens enjoy so much.
Forest Whitaker and his Sloppy Eyeball.
Bob Hope (via necromagery).
The unhappy Australian lesbian.
Iggy Pop, but you gotta get him real high, like back in the old-days high, before you let him on the stage.
An elephant with VOTE MCKINLEY painted on its side.
Annie Sprinkles teaching the crowd about safe fisting.
One or both of the Two Broke Girls.
Bill Cosby

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