Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: carl countryman

Grateful Dead Facts: Quick Hit Edition

  • Whereas previously, keyboardists had to be content with sticking a microphone under the hood of their Steinways, Keith Godchaux had the first custom-built piano pickup.
  • Many members of the band, and all of the road crew, have considered Batmanning.
  • Pigpen’s tune Mr. Charlie is actually about Charlie Miller.
  • Ironically, Front Street was used as a front by several major narcotics smugglers.
  • The Yanomami people are unfamiliar with not only the Dead, but also the very concept of jamming.
  • Billy once pissed for three minutes straight after drinking a six-pack of Schlitz.
  • Billy also thought it was 1988 for the entirety of 1989.
  • Tom Constanten was actually several dozen owls working in concert and wearing a fake mustache.
  • Despite often wearing a shirt that read “Kill the Grateful Dead,” Kurt Cobain was conceived in the bathroom of the 7/16/67 show at Eagle’s Auditorium in Seattle.
  • One time, Mickey didn’t want to play Cumberland Blues, so he called it Dumberland Snooze, and Bobby took a poke at him.
  • “Grateful Dead” is in no way an anagram of “Peter North’s mighty sex-hammer.”

What the fuck is this?

Dude, I’ve warned you about this. Next time you interrupt me when I’m in the Bullet Points, you’re getting your dick punched.

I don’t believe your threats. Again: What the fuck is this?

Well, I noticed that even though this site advertises itself as being about the Grateful Dead, there has been little-to-no Grateful Dead content in weeks, if not months.

And so you decided to rectify that with…this?

Yes.

Drinking again?

Yes.

Pathetic.

Yes.

Piano Man

Here’s your fact for the day, Enthusiasts: who was the first piano player to amplify his piano with a pickup instead of the old and leaky way, which was to point a bunch of microphones towards the thing?

Was it Elton John, Billy Joel, or Leon Russell: any of those seventies showman? Perhaps a technically minded man, an Emerson or a Wakeman or some other caped gentleman farmer?

Of course not: it was our very own Keith Godchaux, pictured below:

jojoThe phase-cancelling microphones necessitated by the Wall of Sound were terrible-sounding on the piano (and the vocals, but that’s a different argument) and required a better and, of course, far more expensive and complicated solution.

As I said: no one had ever built a pickup for a grand piano before, partly because it was unasked for, but mostly because no one had found a sucker to pay for it. You can’t just scale up from a Strat single-coil, apparently. I did the briefest of digging, got to the part about “turning the piano’s string’s into their own capacitors,” and blacked out for twenty minutes.

And the man who built this device? His name was Carl Countryman and before he learned the first thing about microphones, he went from diner to diner in the dusty back roads of the West. He would approach strangers, waitresses, traveling salesmen.

“Hi,” he would say. “My name’s Carl Countryman.” And then Carl Countryman would shake their hand and his handshake was full of America and his eyes were full of America and while everyone was patriotically distracted, Carl’s partner Vic the Saladfucker would break into cars in the parking lot.