Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Grateful Dead Facts: Quick Hit Edition

  • Whereas previously, keyboardists had to be content with sticking a microphone under the hood of their Steinways, Keith Godchaux had the first custom-built piano pickup.
  • Many members of the band, and all of the road crew, have considered Batmanning.
  • Pigpen’s tune Mr. Charlie is actually about Charlie Miller.
  • Ironically, Front Street was used as a front by several major narcotics smugglers.
  • The Yanomami people are unfamiliar with not only the Dead, but also the very concept of jamming.
  • Billy once pissed for three minutes straight after drinking a six-pack of Schlitz.
  • Billy also thought it was 1988 for the entirety of 1989.
  • Tom Constanten was actually several dozen owls working in concert and wearing a fake mustache.
  • Despite often wearing a shirt that read “Kill the Grateful Dead,” Kurt Cobain was conceived in the bathroom of the 7/16/67 show at Eagle’s Auditorium in Seattle.
  • One time, Mickey didn’t want to play Cumberland Blues, so he called it Dumberland Snooze, and Bobby took a poke at him.
  • “Grateful Dead” is in no way an anagram of “Peter North’s mighty sex-hammer.”

What the fuck is this?

Dude, I’ve warned you about this. Next time you interrupt me when I’m in the Bullet Points, you’re getting your dick punched.

I don’t believe your threats. Again: What the fuck is this?

Well, I noticed that even though this site advertises itself as being about the Grateful Dead, there has been little-to-no Grateful Dead content in weeks, if not months.

And so you decided to rectify that with…this?

Yes.

Drinking again?

Yes.

Pathetic.

Yes.

4 Comments

  1. JES

    No wonder I like TC so much!!

  2. DJ5000000

    I work with performers / public speakers who often use Countryman microphones and always end up lecturing people and colleagues about Carl Countryman.

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    You are right on all of those!

    • Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

      Except for Cobain – behind the equipment boxes.

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