“Hello. I’m Don Blankenship, and I approve of myself and all my doings.

“When Chinapeople cluster and feel something akin to, but not morally equivalent with, whitepeople love, they form China families. Often, Lazy Susans are employed. Cocaine Mitch, who I am not running against but am also running against, is for the Chinapeople. He has a Chinawife. I do not know whether they have Chinababies.

“Mexicopeople are coming across the River Rio Grande, which is a body of water God gave to Americapeople. Cocaine Mitch has worn his septum so thin that he has a Senate page blow the cocaine up his rectum, Stevie Nicks-style. He gets high with his Chinawife and gives Mexicopeople a ride. He does this all with your money.

“Negro Obama killed those boys in the mine, not me. The negro did it.

“Drain the swamp!”