“Dad, I don’t wanna wear matching outfits.”
“Grahame, goddammit, it’s Father-Son Sunday.”
“I know, Dad. I love Father-Son Sunday.”
“Remember when we went fishing?”
“We’ve never been fishing, Dad.”
“You’re just jealous of my guns.”
“I’m not.”
“Feel ’em, boy.”
“I’m not going to–”
“FEEL DADDY’S GUNS, BOY!”
…
“Very impressive.”
“That’s the power of P90X. Your mother and I are nuts for it.”
“You keep telling me.”
“Grahame, lemme ask you something.”
“Here it comes.”
“When you giving me another grandbaby?”
“I don’t want to have this conversation again.”
“Your brother had Baby Levon. What do you have? A beard.”
“You said you liked my beard.”
“Oh, sure. Maybe I’ll take pictures of it and put them up on the fridge.”
“Dad, please.”
“I don’t care if you’re married or not. Make me a goddamned baby.”
“I’m not really seeing anyone right now.”
“Are you into fellows? You know you can tell me.”
“I’m straight, Dad.”
“I’ll buy you and your boyfriend a baby. Shit, I’ll pony up the extra for a white kid. I don’t care at this point. I want another grandchild.”
“Um, guys? Phil? Grahame? You’re, uh, live on the air.”
“Oh, shit, Gary. Didn’t see you there. We’re on the air?”
“Yeah, Phil.”
“What channel?”
“JamOn.”
“No one’s listening.”
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