Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: prog

Fusion Or Porgy?

December 2, 2020 / / 2 Comments

FEELINGS ON BESS? PORGY: Desirous that she be his woman now. FUSION: Did not return questionnaire.

MILES DAVIS Yet another trick, tee hee. If we were on Password or even Super Password, and you said “Miles Davis” as a clue, both FUSION and PORGY would be appropriate answers.

WHITE PEOPLE LEGALLY ENJOINED FROM PRODUCING IT? BESS: Yes. FUSION: God, I hope not.

FLOTUS? There was a First Lady named BESS, but there have been no Presidential family members named FUSION. (In 2024, a GOP hopeful is gonna tell a crowd “These here are my twins, Fusion and Fission. Know why I named ’em that? Cuz the government said I shouldn’t.” That fucker’s gonna win in a landslide.)

THE GRINCH, AND WHETHER OR NOT YA GOOPIN’ ON IT Oh, this is the good part.

STOP IT. I’M BEGGING YOU. 

The people need to know.

They don’t. They really don’t. Hey, isn’t this site supposed to be about the Dead?

The who?

Right, yeah. And didn’t you start out talking about Porgy? And then just swiffered on over to Bess? 

…

Huh. I did!

Asswipe.

Fusion Or Pierogi?

December 2, 2020 / / 1 Comment

13/8 If even one bar of the song is in 13/8, then we’re dealing with FUSION. If there are no odd-metered measures, and in fact no music at all but instead an iteration of a dumpling, then it’s PIEROGI.

MUSHROOMS Do mushrooms make everything sound better? FUSION. Do mushrooms make everything taste better? PIEROGI.

CHICK COREA Trick question! Chick Corea produces FUSION and consumes PIEROGIS. Chick has the cosmopolitan palate one would assume in a man of his urbanity.

HYACINTH OF POLAND If you open up the Wiki page and see a reference to Hyacinth of Poland, you are dealing with PIEROGI. (Although “Hyacinth of Poland” would indeed make an excellent name for a FUSION band.)

KREPLACH FUSION music does not get upset when confused with kreplach. Neither does PIEROGI, as it is a non-sentient foodstuff, but some people will get pissed as fuck if you mistake it for kreplach. I won’t say why, but it has to do with “the Jews.”

YA GRINCH, IS IT GOOPED ON? Important to know!

Annnnnnnnd once again, I have to step in because you’re just showing our ass, man.

I am the only man on the innnertubes demanding to know the grinch-gooping status of fusion music and pierogis! I’m brave!

…

…

…

Do you even listen to yourself?

NEVER!

Fusion Or Prog?

December 2, 2020 / / 6 Comments

Some folks think about the Big Questions. World peace, shit like that. Not us, Enthusiasts. We wallow in slapdashery and detail-work. We are not that guy with the exceedingly foreign name and beard, Slobodan Victuals or whatever, no. We will waste our days on hargle-bargle cuz we know that there are no Big Answers, but it is awful fun to argue about Tiny Nonsense.

Join me in some Tiny Nonsense, won’t you?

VOCALS? If someone’s singing, then it’s PROG. If someone’s singing about chess or a yogi or the Battle of Thermopylae, then it’s DEFINITELY PROG. Vocals get in the way of virtuosity.

WHO’S IN CHARGE? If the guitar player is in charge of the band, then it’s PROG. If a keyboardist who used to play for Miles Davis is in charge, then it’s FUSION. If the drummer is in charge, then it’s INCONTROVERTIBLY FUSION.

DOES BRITANNIA RULE? PROG is from the ANZAC countries. FUSION is American.

BLACK GUY? If there’s a black guy in the band, then it’s FUSION. (That probably had more to do with the UK/US split than anything.)

DID THE KEYBOARDIST QUIT THE GROUP SO HE COULD SOLO OVER AN ICE CAPADE? That’s PROG, man. That’s some of the PROGGIEST shit I’ve ever heard of.

SPRECHEN SIE DEUTSCH? Ha-HA! Trick question! If the band speaks German, then clearly it’s KRAUTROCK. Fooled you, fucker!

CAPE STATUS If you’re in a FUSION band and you show up for the gig wearing a cape, you get fired. Let’s just make this simple: If you are allowed to get away with any Rick Wakeman-style bullshit, then you are in a PROG band.

GOOP ON YA GRINCH? If you goop on ya grinch, then you’re PROG. If you do NOT goop on ya grinch, then you’re FUSION.

Excuse me.

Mm?

What in the name of sweet sweaty fuck does “goop on ya grinch” mean?

I dunno. I dunno what it means, I dunno where it came from, and I don’t know whether it’s offensive or not. Someone said it on the innertubes and now it’s in my head.

Leave it there.

NEVER!

The Stacks

Follow Us

Google Verification

Follow Us

Follow me on Twitter

© 2026 Thoughts On The Dead

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑