I told you fuckers years ago that Ryan Adams was a fub.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: ryan adams
Oh, they’re not rebooting Entourage, are they?
“No.”
Ryan Adams looks like Patton Oswalt cosplaying as Butthead.
“Leave my friends alone.”
Who’s the rando?
“I have no idea. I assume he’s with Dave.”
Racist.
“You assumed the same thing.”
I did, but my intentions were pure. How’s Saget doing?
“He’s been making child rape jokes, snorting coke, and throwing hookers down the stairs all afternoon.”
Classic Saget.
“The negros, Mr. President. I’ll take them out first.”
“Mm. Good thinking, Gleason. They’re athletic.”
“I thought I was gonna miss Nixon, but you’re the greatest, President Ford.”
LEGENDARY FUNNYMAN DRIVING NOISE
“Fore!”
KONK!
“Got him!”
“Nice shot, Gleason.”
“Holy shit, Dave Chapelle’s friend!”
“My turn.”
UNELECTED PRESIDENT DRIVING NOISE
“Fore.”
KONK!
“Holy shit, Dave Chapelle! HEY! Jackass!”
Me?
“Obviously. Stop this!”
I don’t wanna. At least not until Ryan Adams gets it.
KONK!
“Holy shit, Ryan Adams!”
Okay, we’re done.
“Hate you.”
Have fun with Saget.
Well, Enthusiasts, the long-awaited Dead Tribute Album’s track listing has been announced; you can check it out here.
It’s a big release: 5 CDs and 60 tracks; coincidentally, I just looked up the definition of the word “editor.”
EDITOR (noun): a person who is in charge of and determines the final content of a text.
No idea why I looked that up.
Anyway, you wouldn’t imagine much was left on the cutting room floor, but as usual TotD has the scoop. Here are some of the rejected tracks:
Bubbemeister and the Smushy Tushees – The Eleven
The White Brooklynites (feat. Joanna Newsom) – Weather Report Suite
Wayne Coyne and an Oompah Band – Mexicali Blues
Eagles of Death Metal – Dire Wolf
Some Band Pitchfork Made Up – Dark Star
The Guy From Sonic Youth Who Wasn’t The Tall One Or Kim Gordon – Dark Star
J. Mascis – Dark Star
Ryan Adams – Dark Star>Shake It Off
Someone From Silverlake With A Soundcloud Account – Creampuff War
Yoko Ono (feat. Bobby on slide guitar) – Werewolves of London
Rush – King Solomon’s Mines
The 1975 – Blues for Allah
Father John Misty – Truckin’ (but he does it super-ironically)
Mumford & Sons – Tuning
Big-Dicked Sheila and the Sinthesizers – Box of Rain
OK Go – Fire on the Mountain (with bonus video)
- Track-by-track cover of Katy Perry’s last album, which Pitchfork gives a 9.3.
- Note-for-note cover of Yummy Yummy Yummy by the
1910 Fruitgum CompanyOhio Express, which merits five interviews in Grantland. - Copies out the April ’12 issue of Spin longhand; Spin reprints it in its entirety.
- Finally gives in and covers Summer of ’69, but with an acoustic guitar!
- He really makes the song his own!
- And by “his own,” I mean it sounds like something Paul Westerberg left off one of his later solo albums.
- Has his good buddy Ed Sheeran over to the house, breaks out the acoustic guitars, and goes utterly HOUSE on an ASAP Rocky track.
- Nicki Minaj cover, but Ryan changes all the pronouns so now the song is about a guy who only blows cocaine dealers: Rolling Stone gives it 5 stars.
- Shot-by-shot remake of the Bad Blood video, except Ryan Adams can’t get stars to do cameos, so he plays all the parts; Sasha Frere-Jones writes a ten-thousand word article about how everything he knew was wrong up until the moment he saw this video.
- Cuts out the middle-man and just covers the last decade of McDonald’s jingles; the New York Times calls it “a masterpiece” and then denies ever employing Judith Miller.
You can stream Ryan Adams’ new record, which is a track-for-track cover of Taylor Swift’s 1989, today; I’m going to get to it just as soon as I finish streaming the Dead’s box set.
So…February? March?
To be safe, let’s call it never.
If Phil likes you, you’ll know it: he likes to sit real close and more often than not will ask you to “touch it.”
“Yes, young man: you’ve brought your sexy. Unfortunately, you’ve BROUGHT A SEXY KNIFE TO A SEXY GUN FIGHT! But seriously, son: I was making records when you were sucking your mother’s dick.”
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