Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
“Tim, you seen the beer guy yet?”
“I have not.”
“The Capital should take some lessons from Parliament. There’s like a dozen bars in that building.”
“That’s the trouble with a country founded by Puritans.”
“You said it. So, is this the balcony Evita sang the song from?”
“You’re in the wrong hemisphere.”
OR
Still a bigger crowd than the inauguration.
“You got any floss?”
“I don’t, Mickey.”
“Matchbook?”
“Sorry.”
“Got about a pound of half-smoke caught in here. You ever been to Ben’s?”
“The hot dog place? I don’t believe I have.”
“The best dogs in the world. And it’s one of the oldest black-owned establishments in the city, so–”
“You probably should have stopped talking before the ‘so.'”
“–I can always get a drum circle going.”
“Ah. I was correct.”
“Beer here!”
…
“Beer here!”
“Mickey, you’re yelling at Adam Schiff.”
“I don’t give a shit what the kid’s name is. I just need a brewski.”
“There’s no beer guy here.”
“I have to go to the concession stand? Sure. You want nachos?”
“Yes, please.”
“Hey! Tony Bennett! You want nachos?”
“Oh, that’s sweet of ya, Mick. Such a good kid. What a wonderful and generous offer to make, but I’m gonna take a rain check on that delicious Mexican treat. The dairy isn’t good for my throat or my hairpiece.”
“Beer?’
“Two, please.”
*Is that Tony’s wife or grandchild?
“I just wanna tell you again how much I appreciate you bringing me to the game, Bill.”
“And I just want to tell you once more that I am not Bill Walton, and this is not a basketball game.”
“You’re old, white, and tall.”
“Those points notwithstanding, Mick. I’m Tim Gunn.”
“Very cool name. Are you a punker?”
“No. It’s my rel name. I’m on television.”
“Like Elvira?”
“Sort of.”
“That woman’s got some sweater-meat.”
“Mickey, please.”
“Could feed a family of six for a whole winter.”
“This is not the appropriate venue for that kind of talk.”
“There’s swastikas all over the chairs and I can’t talk titty?”
…
“Oh, that is an unfortunate pattern.”
“Right?”
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