Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: vince welnick (Page 1 of 4)

Standee On The Mountain

Fun fact: Garcia was pissed. In ’94, the Dead was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Garcia decided not to go for several reasons; the rest of the band had a cutout of him made up and took it to the ceremony. They didn’t run their joke by him; he didn’t think it was so fucking funny; there was yelling.

I learned that fun fact in Susana Millman’s new book, Alive With The Dead, which was BotDs gift to me this Christmas. It’s beautiful, and my copy is signed and came in a very classy slipcase.

Just Do It, But Not This

jerry sneakers bobby vince

Those were the Days, my friend. The Days Between, my friend. Let us all dance in Berlin while night falls; let us have great hair and sing songs and rouge up our nipples while night falls over Europe. Those were the Days, my friend, the Days Betw–

Excuse me.

I’m singing. How dare you.

You know that song isn’t from Cabaret, right?

Really?

Go check.

It seems like it should be in Cabaret, though.

Granted, but still wrong.

Then how we will observe the seventh Day Between, which is dedicated to Garcia’s bitchin’ footwear?

Well, FoTotD and PWDNMUIUS (Person Who Did Not Murder Us In Our Sleep) Martin sent in that picture of Garcia’s Nikes, which might be bitchin’ were they not accompanied by black socks and the elastic garters of blue sweatpants.

Yeah, that’s a mess.

Forget the Persian: there should have been an intervention for that behavior.

Can we not bring up the Persian during the Days Between?

If it weren’t for the Persian, there wouldn’t be a Days Between.

Aw.

Strangers Stopping Strangers, Just To Sell Them Bullshit

s-l1600

Okay, someone answer me a question; it’s a simple one.

Guy’s asking $13 grand for these. Each is one ounce* of .999 gold, which is trading at $1,217 as I write this. Couldn’t you just buy two ounces of gold and get a guy to engrave them? How much can engraving be? Thousand, tops. You got two gold coins with Dead bullshit on them for just over three grand.

Here’s the back:

s-l1600

There you go. The real ones come with a Certificate of Authenticity, but if you throw me a couple hundred bucks, I’ll write one up for you.

You’re welcome.

Also: by saving all that money, you’ll have the $8,000** to buy these:

vince ear plug

Those are ear monitors. Guess whose they are. Guess. I dare you to guess.

*Not a real ounce, a troy ounce, which is less. If you bought an ounce of pot and got a troy ounce, you would be pissed. You would feel downright cheated if you received an avoirdupois ounce.

**Plus $2.45 shipping. HE’S ASKING FOR EIGHT GRAND AND WON’T EAT THE SHIPPING. This is officially my new favorite thing on the innertubes.

Better Than Roses On Your Piano

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afHQQhig9BY[/embedyt]

That’s the Hammond B3 organ, played by Jimmy Smith in honor of Al Green’s birthday. (Do not get Al Green hot grits for his birthday.) Before laptops full of sounds, and MIDI, or even analog synths, there was the instrument you are legally required to refer to as “the mighty B3” at least once while writing about it.

The Hammond organ originated because people couldn’t afford pipe organs. In defense of the pipe organs: they pretty much have to be pricey. A pipe organ is both labor and material-intensive, and then requires constant maintenance and you also need to build the building around it. This is out of reach for most churches, especially smaller American churches, but a relatively thin and quiet piano wouldn’t do, either. Pianos are for thinking; for praying, you need an organ.

So, in 1935, a guy named Laurens Hammond invented this:

hammond b3 organ leslie

Okay, not that one. That’s the B3, which was introduced in ’54, but it has all the features of the original design: two 61-note keyboards, bass pedals, drawbars for the tone, and the iconic Leslie rotating speaker. Inside the guts of the thing are tonewheels: little metal spinners next to a pickup that generated a given frequency. Speaking of spinning, the Leslie is not called a rotating speaker euphemistically: that sucker has a motor in it.

This naturally made the instrument unspeakably heavy. Combined, the organ and speaker weighed three tons, more if the crew was stashing their drugs in it, but heft wasn’t a concern for Mr. Hammond in his design; these things were not intended to be moved. The guy came to fix it, rather than you bringing it in for repairs.

The B3 is complicated, if you play it right: the tonewheels only do “on” and “off” so you control the volume with your foot, plus you’re heel-and-toeing the bass line, and also playing two keyboards simultaneously while fucking around with the drawbars. And since this is the past we’re talking about, you were smoking a cigarette while you played.

Plus, they were expensive: none of Garcia’s costly guitars could begin to reach the cost of the B3. When the Dead upgraded Pig from the piercing and cheesy Vox organ he was originally saddled with, a new one was three grand. Figure the Dead got it used for two: that’s $13,000.

(And though the Boys had a habit of picking up shady equipment, the Hammond must have been acquired from a legitimate source rather than in a “cash” deal with a “friend.” It was repossessed right off the stage in late ’70, and things you buy from drug dealers don’t get repossessed, only stuff from actual stores.)

Keith was terrified of the thing, preferring his grand piano and Fender Rhodes to the point of obstinacy, but when Brent joined the band, the road crew dug the old girl out and Brent could truly play the fuck out of that beast.

brent hammond rhodes
Brent didn’t have a piano; more correctly, the band wouldn’t give him a piano. This was a plan that reached its logical conclusion when, after Brent died, they hired a guy to decide what Vince’s sounds would be. (And Garcia specifically forbade him from playing with a Hammond tone.)

Also:

“Precarious, where should I put this amplifier?”

“On top of another amplifier.”

“How?”

“Set it down in the least stable way allowed by its shape.”

“Gotcha.”

Now, though, the Dead (Or What’s Left Of ‘Em) have over-compensated and have adopted a laissez-faire policy towards the question “How much room does the keyboardist get in the truck?” and this now happens in cities across America:

jeff chimenti keyboards overhead

Enthusiasts, you will note my long-standing love for Jeff Chimenti. I don’t need 50 shades of gray, just one: Jeff Chimenti. If Jeff Chimenti and I were playing Star Wars in the schoolyard, I would let him be Han. He might be pound-for-pound the best keyboardist that’s ever been in any version of the Dead: he plays the piano as well as Keith; and the organ as well as Brent, and that’s saying something.  Those two were motherfuckers. (Jeff also makes distracting calliope noises as well as TC or Vince.)

But, holy shit, is that too much keyboard. That’s the Full Wakeman. If Jeff Chimenti wants to continue having that much keyboard around him, then he should be further surrounded by ice skaters dressed as Knights of the Round Table. This is hubris, Jeff Chimenti, and you are flying too close to the stage lights.

Although, this is truly the Grateful Dead thing to do. The truth is that the sounds generated by each of those instruments can be reproduced now so faithfully that maybe 1% of the population could tell the difference, and each sound triggered by one keyboard. Grand pianos, B3’s, Fender Rhodeseseses: heavy as shit and finicky. The humidity matters, and they need professional care.

Plus, that is Brent’s B3 organ/Leslie speaker combo, and it belongs onstage. And if it’s onstage, someone might as well play it. (The Rhodes and the piano are of unknown–to me, at least–provenance and perhaps someone could fill us in. Keith’s piano at least one Stealie inlaid in it, so I don’t think that’s it.)

I retract my assertion: Jeff Chimenti is playing the proper amount of keyboards. In fact, I propose another two or three be suspended above him, and that the floor-piano from Big be installed beneath him.

Spacey Space

Haven’t recommended a show in a while, and I certainly haven’t recommended a show in which Vince was the highlight, and I am utterly positive that I’ve never recommended a show in which Vince was the highlight AND the best part of the show was Space, but here we are at 9/16/91 from MSG.

It’s come to this.

It is, however, a spectacular Space that starts with a wheezing and sepulchral hockey organ that–if you’re not paying attention–will scare the shit out of you: it’s a breathtaking two minutes of demonic acoustics. Then there’s a fifteen-minute MIDIthon. Many people, some of them Enthusiasts, shun the MIDI-produced blorps and shmeeps of the era, but they are so wrong. So, so wrong.

(MIDI is a technology that, among other things, allowed you to play a synthesizer with a guitar or any other digital instrument. MIDI stands for Music Is Digital, Innit? It was invented in England.)

Rest of the show is outstanding, and you should listen to it, but Space is the place for this one.

Plus: Bruce Hornsby on GDTRFB.

ポテトサラダ

And now the connections come pouring in: video of Bobby (and Vince) performing at the Fukuoka Dome, which is not in Tokyo, from FoTotD Jumpy Jingleberry–

No.

Johnny Jamband.

Stop it.

Jarbles Jowjow.

You’re an idiot. Say the man’s name correctly.

You mean Jesse Jarnow, whose book Heads: A Biography of Psychedelic America is available for pre-order on Amazon?

Everything can’t be fixed with a plug.

Tell that to the Dutch.

Well played.

Anyway, there are actually a lot of questions about this show. This was a band called Bobby and the Valentines and was Bobby, Vince, Henry Kaiser, and two other guys. It was a pick-up band, essentially, and they played Dead tunes. Real fun night out at a small theater.

But the Fukuoka Dome holds 38,000 and Michael Jackson and Madonna and people like that play there: how did Bobby and Vince book this gig? Is Vince big in Japan? Did they just tell the crowd that it was the Dead? How many more weird tributaries are there in this river?

Checking In

phil billy crazy vinceHey, guys. Vince.

“Hi.”

“Thoughts on my ass!”

“Why do you treat me the way you do?”

You sucked.

“You did. You should see the shit I write about you.”

“I was negative towards you in my book, as well, Vince. But I was nice about it.”

That was nice of you, Phil.

“I can be kind when I choose to be.”

Sure. How the rehearsals going?

“Heh.”

“Fine. Everything is fine and no one is counting down days until they don’t have to be in the same room with each other. That is definitely not happening.”

If you say so.

“I do.”

“Heh.”

How’s Bobby?

“Conscious.”

“Vertical.”

“Sober.”

“Ish.”

Gotcha.

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