Hey, coronavirus. Whatcha doing?
“Broham, I am killing it. Having a terrific 2020. Remember how good 2019 was for Lil Nas X? Like that.”
Don’t be so smug.
“Why not? I’m on a winning streak that Baron Bleichroden would envy.”
…
Wow. Nice reference.
“I can’t lose, dude. I got green lights from here to the highway. Everything’s coming up corona.”
Not everything.
“CUTTIN’ SWATHES, MOJIMBO!”
Oh, knock it off.
“Check my drip.”
“Do not check his drip. Corona, he has no style. Not like me.”
Who the hell is that?
“It is I, the palomavirus.”
Oh, this is gonna be one of those stupid posts, huh?
“I will tear through the masses, especially those with last season’s trousers.”
Gosh, that necklace looks expensive.
“This is not a necklace. It is a strand of RNA I borrowed from my friend Zika.”
Okay, I officially no longer understand the premise here.
“Of course not. You are poor.”
“But rich in spirit!”
Ah, c’mon. Who’s that?
“It’s me! The colonnavirus.”
No! No, this is dumb! No one remembers who the hell Jerry Colonna was!
“Your parents do. Until I kill them, that is.”
Dude, not cool.
“Not cool at all! High, high fevers!”
Jackass. Are you really a virus?
“More of a sidekick infection.”
“Me, on the other hand: I’m a leading man.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Not the bolognavirus.
“Hey, howyadoin’.”
None of this is all right.
“No, but y’know what is?”
What?
“Me and my wife Renee are doing The Fantasticks at Burt Reynolds’ Dinner Theater in Jupiter, Florida. We got a place down there in Boca. You could eat at a different restaurant every night and not repeat yourself for six months. Six!”
I wish to be released from this pathetic attempt at a joke.
“Not a shot, kid.”
“Don’t listen to him. Relax. Would you like some turquoise?”
No, sedonavirus. I don’t want any turquoise.
“What about meth?”
Okay, we’re done here.
Jeez, I was just in Sedona.
I hope this meth is okay . . . .
There’s only one way to know for sure.
I was in Sedona in December JES.
Love it there! Looking to see if we can find an affordable place out Cottonwood way that would give us regular access to Red Rocks area.
Congrats on the Baron Bleichroden reference…shot you up to 3rd place in the google results for his name.
I am assuming you are saving Wynonnavirus for its own post with Bobby . . . .