Hey, Bruce. Whatcha–
“Dude.”
–doing? Yes?
“Dude.”
Uh-huh?
“I need you to leave me out of whatever it is that this is.”
It’s a semi-fictional prism through which to view the world, specifically–
“Shut the shit up. You are weird and I don’t like having your weirdness on me.”
…
You played very well in Chi–
“Dude, dude, dude: no. The time for that passed.”
…
Was it–
“Yeah, it was the cock rings.”
–the cock rings? I thought so, yeah.
“Bruce Hornsby is not a cock ring guy, okay?”
That’s why you were glaring disapprovingly on them!
…
You see no humor in this.
“I do not, no. I’m a family-kinda guy and I draw a family-kinda crowd and I don’t need to be caught up in your dong-cinching shenanigans.”
You’re right: sorry. I’ll fix it.
“Thank you.”
You did kill it in Chicago.
“Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Had a lot of fun.”
…
Do you need–
“No.”
–a Benjy? Okay, just asking.
that was a quick correction!
coming from a family of pianists.
Typos are the Devil’s daughters.
OK then what’s the Devils mom then if you’re so smart
Improper kerning.
The three greatest three-word combinations in the English language:
1. Call me Ishmael.
2. Just Do It.
3. Dong-cinching shenanigans
I am merely a vessel and was as impressed with the internal poetry of that phrase as you were when it was revealed to me.
“i’ll stick with my vintage Peter Lawford Accu-Jack, thank you very much sir”