- Insects, all.
- Arachnids, most. Anything from tarantula up is gonna be able to survive having Billy’s book dropped on it.
- Anole lizards.
- Geckos.
- Smaller snakes.
- Smurfs, except Brawny.
- Human baby? Like, two weeks out?
- I’m throwing this question out to you, Enthusiasts: could Billy’s book, if dropped from a reasonable height, kill a human baby?
- Complete honesty – I have been dropping Billy’s book onto my floor from a reasonable height for ten minutes now.
- My position is this: no. No, dropping Billy’s book from a reasonable height onto a human baby would not kill it.
- That would fuck a baby up, though.
- Very, very few dogs.
- Very few cats.
- Few mice.
- No rats. You can’t kill a rat with anything less than the collected Proust or the O.E.D.
- Rats only respond to disproportional warfare.
- Sea monkeys.
- If we’re dropping the book on dry land, then it could kill anything up to and including a blue whale.
- Any amphibian in its watery phase, most in their drier bodies.
- The majority of birds. Even big ones: they’re not all that sturdy and have never developed an evolutionary defense against having memoirs dropped on them from a reasonable height.
- A certain, and probably nameable, set of animals is completely immune to Billy’s book from birth to death.
- Even a newborn elephant cannot be injured by this book, even if you abandoned “dropping from a reasonable height” in favor of “beating the animal viciously with a hardcover rock tell-all.”
- Baby elephants are around 200 pounds.
- You’d probably end up getting your ass kicked, at the very least.
- Ditto for rhinos and hippos.
- Cows are the size of dog-sized dogs when they’re born, so cows are out, too.
- (A dog-sized dog is anywhere from 20 to 80 pounds. Anything smaller is a rat; larger, a horse.)
- Let’s just group the whole cow family in the “impervious to Billy’s book and its violent ways” category: yak, wildebeest, musk ox, bison, buffalo, gnu.
- Bears, giraffes, wolverines, Wolverine.
- Also easy to kill with Billy’s book: friendships.
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Any chance of transcendent music happening at the 50th shows.
Your question answers itself.
I bought and read the eBook today. Favorite: Billy addresses the Matt Kelly thing by telling everyone about Matt Kelly fucking a stripper.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvKsimWPrwQ&t=8m40s
I gotta get into it soon.
You, sir , are unaware of the resilience of the human infant. Baby survives, easily!