- The bad guys will win.
- No matter how hot and skinny you are, eventually you will have a floppy tummy.
Terry Bradshaw wants to fuck Tom Brady.- Terry Bradshaw wants to be fucked by Tom Brady.
- NFL owners will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
- Hell, let’s not wait for the revolution.
- We have run out of gas, collectively: when a culture starts bringing back its old advertising icons, then it is out of ideas.
- Spuds?
- Really?
- Dig up that little mustache fucker out of the ground; tell him it’s time to make the donuts.
- Katie Nolan>Erin Andrews in every single way.
- The only Real Americans® are Military-Americans, and all the rest of us should drop to our knees and thank them, orally, for our Freedom®.
- Just because you’re playing in a dome doesn’t mean a flyover is out of the question.
- Julian Edelman’s haircut is a mod at /r/The_Donald.
- New rule: players must get their helmets locked together at least once every game from now on; it is adorable.
- If you ask Alexa what time it is, she will not know; if you ask her the weather, she will give you the forecast for the wrong city; if you ask her what the Over/Under for the game is, she will respond INSTANTLY with “57.5 points is the Over/Under.”
- I think Alexa might have a gambling problem.
- Shannon Sharpe is a preening twit.
- I’m beginning to think we’ll never meet Lord Gaga.
- All commercials from now on should troll the president.
- “Come on down to Larry’s Furniture Shack and buy yourself a couch. Also, Trump’s a wetbrained cocksniffer. Financing available!”
- Fox kept their name and the number of the Super Bowl in Roman numerals (LI) up on the screen for most of the game, and I kept wondering, “Who is Fox Li? Is that Jet’s son?”
- I’m happy for Gronk, I suppose.
- This might be my last year of football; I have grown to despise everything about the sport but the actual game.
- It’ll be nice to see Alfa Romeos on the side of American roads again.
I am happy with the results!
BOOOOOO.
Excellent. NFL now officially part of the military-industrial complex. Falcons had one job: beat the official team of the fourth reich.
Like Jesse Owens in reverse.