PENNSYLVANIA Not for Biden. I am prepared to call Pennsylvania a feculent hinterland tented by two “cities” that make Bellona look like Omelas. Nice of them to vote for the non-psychopath (barely), but I was born and raised in Jersey, and so I’ll shank Bruce Springsteen before I say anything positive about Pennsylvania. Man’s gotta have principles.
ME On the line. I will call me, call me any time.
NEVADA I am calling Nevada Nuh-VAAAAAAAAAH-duh and I don’t give a shit what those half-irradiated desert trashbags think.
BOBBY And be like, “Dude, I think that Rocky Horror cover put us over the top,” and Bobby will say, “How did you get my number?” and I’ll answer, “We’ve both known it would end this way,” and Bobby will be all, “Are you in my house right now?” and I’ll be like, “Lol yeah.”
A LADY BIRD TO COME WATCH ME DO MY FUCK DANCE Wait, what?
THAT’S MY FUCK DANCE Who told you that you could insert GIFs?
I’LL INSERT MY COCK IN YOUR EAR This is why you were denied tenure.
THAT WAS ALL POLITICS It wasn’t. You’re a dick and everyone hates you.
Did you watch that National Lampoon documentary?
The Penna Pike is America’s very worst highway. Even worse than I-80/90/94 around/thru Chicago, or I-95 in Florida. Whenever we travel and get off at an exit that forces you into strip mall country with no easy and obvious route back to the highway, we refer to that as a Breezeood Pennsylvania Stop and vow to never use that exit again. I used to have to go to Pittsburgh a lot for work. Thankful if the state goes for Joe, but don’t ever want to visit again . . .
PA drivers are better than NJ drivers. Spectrum shows were better than brendan byrne shows