bobby andy cohen bravo

“I left my body in Egypt, Alan.”

“Andy.”

“We were playing poorly and I was looking at the moon. And, you know: it was a very foreign moon. Meant something. And I kinda went towards it, up, maybe twelve feet. Right about eye level with Walton.”

“Bill Walton, who is very famous.”

“Sure, great guy. And I’m, you know, levitating and I see the future and the past. Also sideways a little bit. Anyway: that was a big one. Not that rare, though, the out-of-body experiences.”

“What do you mean, Bob?”

“I lapse in and out of total consciousness four or five times a day.”

“Wow.”

“I’ve watched myself shower quite a bit.”

“Bobby, let’s take a call.”

“This is a call-in show? Oh, okay. Great. Let’s give out some sex advice.”

“It’s not Loveline, Bob.”

“Here’s Bob Weir’s number one sex tip: have a roadie guard the door.”

“Okay. We have our first caller. From Mount Tamalpais, California. Lillian, are you there?”

“WE DEMAND VEGAN TALK SHOWS!”

“Hey, sis. Artie–”

“Nope.”

“–this is my sister-in-law, Lillian Monster.”

“SOLAR POWERED CAMERAS NOW!”

“Is she holding a bullhorn up to her phone?”

“Almost certainly.”