What Else Do 27% Of Americans Believe?

• Bushes are baby trees.
• Two plus two equals paprika.
• Cigarettes improve athletic performance.
• She wants to see your dick pic.
• That celebrity version of Imagine was helpful and entertaining.
• George Floyd’s best album was Animals.
• The best way to clean your floor is to jam a mop up your ass and scoot about.
• The lion is the king of the jungle. (Lions don’t live anywhere fucking near jungles. Tigers live in jungles.)
• That whole coronavirus thing is over.
• Eric Clapton can really play the blues, man.
• Birds are not independent creatures, but merely manifestations of the Living Sky.
• God is one of us, just a slob like one us, just a stranger on the bus trying to make His way home.

PS: If you’re stymied about how 27% of Americans can find such a clearly ungodly wretch to be “a man of faith,” then educate yourself on the Keyes Constant.