- Snacks in Backpacks.
- BLT’s on ATV’s.
- Peking Duck by Leaking Truck.
- Subway on the Subway.
- Feasts on Beasts. (Pizzas strapped to bears; bears set loose in old age homes.)
- Delicatessen from a Pedestrian.
- Scones from Drones.
- Fags in Bags. (This is a British program that brings cigarettes to the housebound; I don’t know why we’re paying for it, and I salute Allfather Trump for cutting it.)
- Egg Béarnaise on Segways.
- Lamb Blintzes in Ambulances.
- Gyros from Gyros. (Old-timey helicopters throw Greek food at old people from 500 feet up.)
- Hotpot by Slingshot.
Moroccan Dates on Roller-skates.
They are encouraging Faith Based Organizations to step up and replace these wasteful programs with local initiatives like . . .
Cat Food From A Jesus Dude
Sustacal If You’re YHWH’s Pal
Liv-A-Snaps For Compliant Chaps
Nilla wafers from Fundamentalists wearing polyester thigh chafers
Ensure in a Snake Dancing Coven, sir
Also, summer tour 2017 cuts to feeding Shakedown patrons:
Heady grilled cheese on wooks w/fleas
Burritos on mosquitos
Shrooms on flumes
Blotter sheets on parakeets
Russian urine via promiscuous Honduran. (“wait, let’s keep that one”)
Foot long frank from a Russian tank. (“keep it. order more”)
Trump Wine through the Dakota Pipeline (“best wine. best pipe. keep it”)
Halal bean dip from a transatlantic ship (“that’s so cut it’s going to take the rest of the Muslim and Mexican food along with it”)
Demi-Glaces from Eaters of Faces