“AH DIED T’DAY, TOO! YEW BETTER GIMME MAH PROPERS!”

Hey, King.

“R-E-P-T-I-L-E! RESPEC’!”

Close enough. Did you ever meet Aretha Franklin?

“AH HAD MIZ FRANKLIN T’ MAH HOME, GRACELAND. WE COMPARED FUR COATS AN’ SANG ‘BOUT JESUS ‘TIL DAWN.”

That sounds awesome.

“THASS CUZ YEW WASN’T THERE. SHE MADE ME TURN THE DINGDANG AIR CONDITIONIN’ OFF. IT WAS JUNE, MAN. AH NEEDED SO MANY SCARVES AND SO MUCH WATER THAT CHARLIE HODGE COULDN’T KEEP UP.”

Was he okay?

“AFTER DOCTOR NICK GOT THROUGH WITH HIM.”

Sure. Did anyone happen to tape any of these duets?

“AH TRIED TO, BUT MIZ FRANKLIN DEMANDED FIFTEEN GRAND IN CASH.”

She did that.

“AN’ THEN STARTED T’ BANTERIN’ WITH MAH HOG-ASSED, CORNHUSK-SMOKIN’, WAX-EARED–”

Vernon.

“–ILLITERATE CHICKENFUCKER OF A DADDY–”

Vernon.

“–VERNON, AN’ SHE GOT REAL PERSONAL, AN’ MADE HIM CRY. AH WOULDA BEEN OUTRAGED HAD THEY NOT BEEN SUCH FUNNY JOKES. THAT LADY DONE GOT A TONGUE LIKE WILLIAM TELL’S BOW, MAN. SHE GONNA HIT YA WHERE IT HURTS.”

Yeah, that sounds right.

“TH’ WHOLE MEMPHIS MAFIA WUZ LAID FLAT BAH HER WITHERIN’ WIT! SHE DID’N SPARE NO ONE BUT JOE ESPOSITO!”

Why Joe Esposito?

“SHE SAID HE LOOKED SIMPLE. TH’ WOMAN WUZ OBSERVANT!”

Yup.

“AH WUZ ‘BOUT T’ THROW HER RIGHT OUTTA GRACELAND!”

Why didn’t you?

“SHE STARTED T’ SING, MAN.”

All you had to say. We still love you, King.

“THANK YEW. THANK YEW VERY MUCH.”