Who We Missing?

Reasons for Phil’s absence:

• It was a Friday night show during Phil’s brief flirtation with orthodox Judaism.
• It was a Tuesday night show during Phil’s long entanglement with orthodox alcoholism.
• Takin’ a piss.
• Ballin’ a fox.
• Doin’ a line.
• Saw a duck and ran terrified into the dressing room, slammed door, burrowed under couch, made keening noises.
• Crowd surfing.
• This was the only appointment he could get at the podiatrist for weeks. (Phil’s got corns.)
• On line for the new iPhone.
• At a playground slapping ugly children while telling them to “get used to it.”
• Saw a carnival on the way to the gig.
• Stepped in a normal-looking pile of leaves and a rope tightened around his leg and yanked him up to the ceiling.
• In a crazy rich guy’s house, dressed as a kitty, and dangling from a rope as a living motivational poster.
• Picking a fight with two Puerto Rican women in a Steak & Shake parking lot.
• Galveston, Texas.
• Charging (Light Brigade.)
• Taking (Omaha Beach.)
• Sieging (Stalingrad.)
• Cross-dressing (Rocky Horror Picture Show screening in Petaluma.)
•  Had Bobby draw him a map to the show and Phil is either in Narnia or East St. Louis, and either way he’s about to get stabbed.