• Can I see the outline of your cock?
  • No, not a vague and lumpy potato salad: the raised and distinct outline of your penis?
  • Then those pants aren’t tight enough, are they?
  • Go put on some more accessories.
  • I don’t care how many you have on now: put on more.
  • Headbands are acceptable.
  • As are do-rags and piratical scarves.
  • You may also tie aforementioned scarves around your arm or leg or whatever.
  • “Certain colors don’t go together” is a lie.
  • The single coolest piece of clothing a man can wear is a duster.
  • The single coolest thing a man can do with his duster is remove it during the bridge of the song, twirl it overhead, and throw it in the vicinity of a roadie.
  • If you’re wearing a suit, it should be obviously expensive.
  • Say yes to the vest.