Siri, find me a song about New Year’s that isn’t the one by Boomer Coldplay*.

…

Ugh.

…

Oh, God, no we will not be listening to Funky New Year by The Eagles. Fuck you for even suggesting that.

…

Eh, it’ll do.

 

 

 

*I am declaring that U2 is now called “Boomer Coldplay.”