• Topol getting the lead role in the movie adaptation of Fiddler rather than Zero Mostel.
  • Woody Allen convincing the world that Jews are weak, sniveling, shiksa-obsessed sissies.
  • Sammy Hagar replacing David Lee Roth.
  • The destruction of the Second Temple.
  • Melanie Griffith playing a cop who goes undercover in a Hasidic community. (NOT A JOKE.)
  • Joe Lieberman’s very existence.
  • The destruction of the First Temple.
  • The McBagel.
  • Seriously, look at this bullshit:
  • Did you look at that bullshit?
  • A shanda, that’s what that bullshit it.
  • And, finally: the actual Holocaust.

Remember, Enthusiasts: when we say “Chosen People,” we mean “Chosen to be fucked with constantly.”