“Hey, Mickey: some Tibetan monks are coming. Wanna record ’em?”
“Sure. Lemme call George Lucas.”
…
“What?”
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: mickey hart (Page 30 of 71)
Ten minutes after Mickey had given him a friendly hug, Billy noticed his mustache was gone.
“The Magnificent Mickpocket strikes again!” Mickey yelled gleefully as he ran away. The mustache later turned up on Ebay under Mickey’s name; he claimed to have been hacked.
Even in the Legoverse, Keith gets cropped out of the picture.
Also, the longer you stare at Lego Garcia, the funnier he gets.
“Earthroamer, huh?”
“Yup. Custom made and ready to tour the world. Cab seats four in luxurious style, Tempurpedic on the sleeper right above us, full kitchen and refrigerator/freezer with a separate wine fridge.”
“And the shitter.”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to mention that, Bobby. What the hell did you do in there?”
“Wreaked some havoc.”
“It smells like an alcoholic clown in here.”
“I flushed.”
“Flushed? What flushed? There’s no flushed. It’s an RV, man: that thing is just a fancy hole over a bucket. Just like a tour bus. How do you not know the tour bus rules?”
“Oh, well: there you go, Josh. Dead never had a tour bus. We flew. Second we could afford it, we got on a plane.”
“What about before you could afford it?”
“We still flew, but Bear paid for it.”
“Right.”
“There were a lotta vans. But, you know: there’s no toilet whatsoever in a van. There’s no confusion. This thing doesn’t even have a sign.”
“It doesn’t need one. I informed you in the clearest terms possible that you weren’t to poop; you did.”
“Pooped in your car.”
“Yeah.”
“You wanted to be a Grateful Dead, Josh.”
“Yeah.”
“Where we headed, anyway?”
“Europe was the last I saw her.”
“Okay. We gonna stop before we get there? I think Billy’s hungry.”
“What?”
“Stop at Cracker Barrel! I want Racist Breakfast!”
“HOW’D BILLY GET IN HERE?”
“Good question, Josh.”
“Keen eye for detail and continuity, kid.”
…
“Jesus, Weir: you poop in the car? Smells like an alcoholic clown in here.”
“Goddammit.”
“How should I have known not to poop in the car? There’s no sign!”
“He’s right, Josh: there should be a sign.”
“Both of you stop talking. Is anyone else here?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Josh, are there any drums in here?”
“GODDAMMIT, HOW MANY GRATEFUL DEADS ARE IN MY EARTHROAMER?”
“Just us.”
“Why do I smell smoke?”
“Okay, Garcia’s in your bathroom.”
…
“Goddammit.”
Grateful Dead Fun Fact: sometimes during set break, Billy and Mickey would trade mustaches. The crowd never realized.
I’ve never seen more of Precarious Lee’s handiwork in one place. This stage setup (from the Dead’s first Giants Stadium show on 9/2/78) goes beyond a lack of interest in the visual aesthetic. This was a deliberate decision.
“How raggedy-assed can it possibly look?” the Dead said.
And the Greatest Roadie of All Time, Precarious Lee, answered, “Gimme an hour.”
Speaking of terrible mustaches, the Powwow Festival, and spoons, here’s this pic. There was a good four or five-year period of this bands life when they were trying to out-hippie one another through the cunning use of facial hair and strategic deployment of vests. Mickey’s vest seems like it might come with a long story about Native Americans, too.
Hey, Garcia. I see you back there.
“I’m the Babadook, man.”
How do you even know what that is?
…
Are you using the Time Sheath to go to the movies?
“You get so much more popcorn in the future.”
Goddammit.
Phil looks like “Hippie #2” in a terrible biopic about the Sixties; I don’t want to talk about the others.
The Dead or What’s Left of ‘Em have hit Colorado, where marijuana is legal. If I were Colorado, I would be fighting as hard as possible to keep marijuana illegal everywhere else so I could be the Vegas of doobies. Instead of casinos and drinks, there would be comfortable chairs and plentiful appetizers and jam bands every night.
Assorted notes:
- Even with the gas mask on, Mickey is still not wearing the dopiest headcovering.
- Take that shmata off, Young John Mayer.
- Speaking of hats, Billy has grown very attached to Red Rider up there.
- The best-looking guitar amp is four Marshall stacks; the second-best-looking is a tweed amp.
- These men are high.
- Not trying to blow up anybody’s spot over here, but: these guys are high as fuck.
- Billy may or may not also be drunk.
- Careful observation will reveal that Mickey is wearing a sweatband under his sweatsuit.
- Good work, Mickey.
- Completely empty or full arenas look much smaller than arenas with a few people scattered throughout the stands.
- Jeff Chimenti’s hair is spun from childhood dreams and first loves.
- You might be able to substitute one of Jeff Chimenti’s strands of hair for the usual unicorn hair used in one of Ollivander’s magic wands and still get some magic out of the sucker.
- If you floss with a hair from Jeff Chimenti, then you will never get another cavity.
- Speaking hair, John Mayer just turned 38.
- Not one grey.
- Just saying.
- Billy’s sweater looks very soft and pettable, but if you pet Billy, he will punch you in the dick.
- Unless you are a stone-cold fox and pet him on his dick.
- Billy’s fine with that.
- How long were they in Colorado before Mickey had smoked so much weed that he’d gotten bored with the normal methods of ingestion and started gas-masking?
I had to see it, and now you do: enjoy never sleeping again.
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