Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: mickey hart (Page 42 of 71)

Casey "Basketball" Jones

bobby mickey chris mullinsHere’s how white Chris Mullins is: in a room full of Eastern Europeans and Grateful Deads, he’s still the HCIC. (Head Cracker In Charge.)

PLUS Three Thoughts on the Mickey:

  • There simply aren’t enough pixels jammed into this picture to tell, but I am going to assume that is a Dead shirt.
  • If you took Mickey to Disney, could he get on every ride?
  • Jews have far more than the usual five sense given to most Gentiles. For example, Jews can sense whether there are bones in a piece of fish from 20 yards away. You can’t see it, but trust me on this one: Mickey’s “I’m the only Jew in a room” alarm is wailing away in his head.

Mickolas Mickleby

mickey handsome bw

Hey, Mickey. Whatcha up to?

“Nothing much. Thinking.”

Thinking? Okay. Where’s your Dead shirt?

“Oh, I…um, must have run out of clean ones.”

And why aren’t you whacking on a foreign percussion instrument?

“Well, sometimes even Mickey Hart needs a break from drumming.”

…

Who the fuck are you?

“DAMN! You have seen through my disguise! It is actually I, Nickey Hart, who stand before you and–”

No. No evil twins.

“I’m actually the good twin.”

Don’t care. Fuck off back to your parallel dimension.

“Aw.”

Yeah: aw.

Pon-Farr On The Mountain

mickey vulcan 93

The kitchen at Club Front was laid out oddly. Most kitchens do an open sort of thing, but not here. The Dead had all voted that quinoa surprise (the surprise was that it contained pork) Bobby liked to cook stank, and therefore, the kitchen should be enclosed. There was a heavy door with a lock, but over the sink was a large window made from plexiglass; it faced into the main room, so everyone could look in and watch Billy do his Swedish Chef routine, or Keith get chased by the lobsters he was forever buying, bothering, losing control of, and being pinched by.

So when Garcia wandered in one morning at three in the afternoon, he was not surprised to see the kitchen full of smoke.

“GARCIA!” a voice coughed out from inside the kitchen.

Garcia’s shoulders slumped and wondered if he could run back to his car, claiming deafness.

“Garcia. It’s me. Mickey.”

“Yeah, Mick.”

“There was a radiation leak, Garcia.”

And with a SCHMOCK! Mickey’s face slammed against the plexiglass: it was covered in cheese and sauce of some sort, but probably marinara.

“A radiation leak?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t forget to take the chicken parm out of the foil before you microwaved it again?”

“No. Definitely radiation.”

“Well, open a window in there, man.”

“NO! The jams of the many–”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

“–outweigh the jams of a few.”

Mickey wheezed and hacked, and then stubbed out his cigarette, and then wheezed and hacked some more.

“Front Street…out of danger?”

“Sure, why not.”

“And you are…my friend?”

…

“Well, we’re definitely bandmates, Mick. let’s stick with you’re my drummer.”

“Then I am…your drummer?”

“Oh, yeah: you are amongst my drummers.”

Mickey slapped his hand against the plexiglass in the Vulcan salute. Garcia looked at it.

“C’mon, man.”

“Mick, I don’t really…”

“I don’t ask a lot of you.”

“Oh, fine.”

Garcia put his hand on the plexiglass, too.

“I feel it would be more iconic if you used the fucked-up hand, Jer.”

“And I’m done here.”

…

“KAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!”

“John Kahn?”

The Singing Senator

leahydead

A few of my long-time readers may remember TotD has become BFF’s with US Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT).

It was less than 24 hours ago you were hallucinating about this out loud. In between mocking Garcia’s love life, of course.

Nevertheless: you would be shocked how many Enthusiasts have only the most episodic of memories. Was the Pat Leahy thing yesterday, or was Bobby becoming a vampire yesterday? When was the last time anyone heard from Mrs. Donna Jean? I don’t think anyone celebrates T-Shirt Tuesday anymore.

Your point is made.

Thank you. Also: Mickey should fuck off away from that microphone. Maybe the Senator can sing, maybe he can’t: Mickey’s gonna start to rap and it’s not going to work out well for anyone.

Singing drummers? Garcia’s remains are spinning in that filthy, foreign river they dumped him into.

Of Course He Is

mickey sammy drums

  • Is Mickey jamming with Sammy Hagar?
  • Is Mickey jamming with Sammy Hagar for Sammy Hagar’s new reality show?
  • Sammy Hagar’s doing a reality show?
  • Is Mickey wearing a Dead shirt?
  • Is Mickey having one of his moments where he thinks he’s Jesus?
  • Is Mickey giving a lecture about the history of whatever wooden doodad he’s currently whacking to the cameraman?
  • Seriously, Sammy Hagar’s doing a reality show?
  • Is Billy hopped up on meth and tequila, perched in the air ducts dressed in a tactical Hawaiian shirt and about to see how prepared Mickey’s barn is for a terrorist attack?

Schmuck In A Hat (Also Sweatbands)

mickey brain hat abc

“Mickey, what can you tell us about your new project?”

“Well, Adolf–”

“Ted. My name is…seriously, you thought it was Adolf?”

“I honestly did. Is your name not Adolf?”

“No. No one’s name is Adolf.”

“Someone’s name was, though.”

“Yes. But he was a bit rough with the name and now no can use it.”

“Well, Ted: this ridiculous hat is mapping my brain waves or something and–I’m sorry: is your middle name Adolf?”

…

“Sending it back to the studio, this is Ted Hitler, Channel 6 news.

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