Tag: mickey hart (Page 41 of 71)

TotD must admit to a prejudice, Enthusiasts.

Just the one?

I do occasionally take you for granted, lump you in with the proletariat, make you clasp a swishy tail ‘twixt your nethers and ride you round the room like a pretty pony.

Please get to the point. Or any point, really. Just stop being weird at the people you’re trying to compliment.

Commentator and useless Scrabble rack WWWTFJWWD tosses over the transom a pic that I believe has appeared here before, appended with some sort of quip about T-Shirt Tuesday, probably.

But: WWTJDWDWJ has applied a true Enthusiast’s eye to this pic and asked a question that comes so often to the true Enthusiast’s lips: Mickey, what the fuck are you wearing?

Did someone draw that? Was it Taro? It wasn’t an adult. Did Billy get his shirt inside the show, but you wanted to save a couple bucks, so you got yours from a guy selling them out of a shopping cart in the parking lot?

Mickey’s shirt looks like someone described Billy’s shirt over the phone. And that’s not a skeleton with a crown of roses. It’s ol’ Bonebeard the Pirate King. The background isn’t even solid blue, just some scribbling that clearly ended with someone saying “Eh, blue enough.”

And the collar’s all fucked up.

The shame is: his hair game is on fleek.

“Ah, fuck, Bill: think. Think. Shouldn’t have eaten that second handful of shrooms.

“No. NO. Fuck that fuckin’ noise, Billy: you’re Billy. You’re Uncle fucking Billy, Billy the K, Billy the Drummer, the dickpunchingest sonuva bitch ever lived and: okay, you’re in front of a room full of people in a brand-new tie with…someone…next to you wearing sunglasses indoors and pontificating about the Berber people and their castanets, but you’ve been in worse spots.

“Remember ‘Nam? The dying boys and the smell of the napalm and all the screams? And then you left the airport.

“It was during the hiatus and you had mouths to feed and when Bob Hope needed a drummer for his USO bullshit, you took the gig. The heat would have killed a lesser man, with fewer Hawaiian shirts.

“You soldiered on. Remember the sketches? Bob would dress up like a hippie and everyone would boo and then you would miss your cue because you were stuffing heroin into corpses getting shipped home.

“You soldiered on.

“And you can make it through this, Bill. When whatshisface finally shuts up, just be polite and thank everyone. Tell ’em you’re honored and get the fuck off the stage and figure out what’s going on.

“He’s wrapping it up. Here ya go, buddy. Don’t let me down.”

…

“Okay, Bill. Why did you feel the need to mention the Jews running show business?”

When Billy came out of his blackout to find himself in a suit and tie and accepting some sort of award, he flipped out and punched Price and Waterhouse in their dicks. (Cooper was not there due to an illness in the family.)