Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: mickey hart (Page 53 of 71)

1977: The Year Punk Broke

June 21, 2014 / / 3 Comments

The Grateful Dead

From left to right, as usual:

  • Keith’s hair and head are as wide as one another.
  • Billy is…Jesus, Billy. You don’t always have to make my point for me.
  • Garcia is not wearing his glasses and has no idea what’s going on. Immediately before this photo was taken, he tried to cop from a fern, and then burnt down a stranger’s hotel room. (It was not a stranger: it was Phil.)
  • Mickey has been drafted by the Pittsburgh Penguins.
  • Look at Mrs. Donna Jean: she’s clearly being held hostage here. If this were a video, you’d see her blinking out “COME GET ME” in Morse code.
  • Bobby looks like when Superman first comes out of the phone booth.
  • The only thing Phil was able to save from his hotel room was that tie and he is not happy about it.

Pop The Bag

June 19, 2014 / / 0 Comments

As we recently revealed, the Grateful Dead made a policy of treating foxes kindly and seeing them out the door with a smile on their face and an STD in the pants. Young ladies spending the night with the Dead would also receive a tote bag with assorted goodies. Tell ’em what they’ve won, Johnny!

  • Lifetime supply of Turtle Wax. (A lifetime supply is one can.)
  • New underwear. (During the night, Billy scurries from room to room stealing panties like a sexually perverted racoon. He will not give the underwear back, nor will he tell anyone what he does with it.)
  • A selection of freshly picked fruits, berries, and nuts.
  • A well-lit Polaroid of the Grateful Dead member of your choosing’s member. (NOTE: The Grateful Dead dong you receive the picture of need not be the from Grateful Dead you allowed to plow you. For example, no one has ever asked for Brent’s. Also, no being cute and asking for Mrs. Donna Jean’s.)
  • A baseball signed by the entire 1974 Oakland A’s team except for Vida Blue.
  • A complete collection of Yes, Minister, and Yes, Prime Minister on VHS.
  • One (1) use of the Time Sheath technology. And you can only use it for little trips and I’m not even going to mention you-know-who and what you’re not allowed to do to him.
  • If you exhibit the slightest bit of competence, composure or just know how to get to the next gig, then you might be made road manager.
  • Dead shirt. (Tuesdays/Mickey only.)
  • A pat on the ass, a “good job, slugger,” and a ride to school.

Mt. Royal

June 16, 2014 / / 0 Comments

billy mickey leg drums

The last time Billy held something between his legs that tightly was the last time he was in Montreal, when his thighs were wrapped around a French-Canadian hooker’s neck. Billy sang Allouette to her as the bones shivered and strained to hold and snapped in her already-running-to-fat neck.

The last time Mickey laughed that hard was the last time he was in Montreal, and he was watching Billy strangle a–

Please stop saying these things.

Sum Of Their Parts

June 14, 2014 / / 0 Comments

billy mickey drumz smiling

This picture captures Billy and Mickey at their Billy and Mickiest. A partial checklist:

  • Sweatbands (patriotic, Mickey.)
  • Shirt (Dead, Mickey.)
  • Shirt (Hawaiian, awful, Billy.)
  • Mustache (Proper Billy has a mustache. This is not an arguable assertion: it is fact.)
  • Goiter (?)
  • Checkup (Seriously, Billy: go see a doctor. What’s with your neck, brother?)
  • Expression (Crazy as fuck, Billy; precisely as crazy as fuck, Mickey.)
  • Action (I can’t be the only one who noticed right off the bat that this was Mickey is blocking an attempted dickpunching with his Fancy Beaver style Kung Fu?)
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