Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: oteil burbridge (Page 7 of 10)

His Hair Was Perfect

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I’ve been avoiding it, and can you blame me? To look is to wonder, and to wonder is to question: there can be no answers. Maybe a zen koan “Because it’s hair” type of answer, but only annoying people do that. To gaze into the bolt-hawk is to invite madness and delusion. Do not ask “Why?” Ask “Whah-huh?” and “Ohhhhkay?” and “Did you run that by your wife?” and “Has Billy noticed yet?”

We must now speculate on whether or not Oteil has shaved a Stealie into his pubic hair.

No we mustn’t.

Please?

No.

Aw.

Out With The Old

As is my computer’s wont, it has again filled up with tabs I thought that I might give a shit about, but have since failed to muster up said shits. In the ongoing rearguard action to have a clean working space, I now pass them along to you, so that you may not give a shit about them.

One

The San Francisco Zoo named a wolf after Garcia; the wolf is on his fourth marriage.

Two

Jambase interviewed Oteil, but have not given him a weekly advice column titled What’s the Deal with Oteil, and that is an oversight.

Three

More unbearable fashion assholes cluelessly glomming onto the Dead while letting you know that they would never, ever listen to the band.

Read:

His inspiration: Deadheads, a term coined for the fans of the psychedelic rock band in the 70s The Grateful Dead, or rather, “inspired by what the daughter of a Deadhead would wear”. Although Johansson makes it clear that he himself is not a Deadhead, he was rather interested in how a daughter born into that subculture would interpret the lifestyle today.

First of all, the designer’s name is Jonny Johansson, which means he owes Jesse Jarnow money.  Second of all, fuck this guy. Third of all, copy-editing is not an option.

You’re one to talk about copy-editing.

That’s a professional website; I’m some jerk-off in Florida with a good imagination.

Yeah, maybe.

Stop, Thief!

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 12.52.56 PM

I don’t ask for a lot of favors, but can we fuck this asshole bloody?

Here’s all the places this dickless sack of bear-shit has been selling my shirt, and I am officially encouraging harassment. In fact, I’d like someone to give me the cocksucker’s real name:

Etsy shop.

Twitter account.

Instagram.

Please be rude, and take screen shots so I can mock him.

 

EDIT: We’re all good. No one bother no one.

This Gives Me An Idea

oteil jeff chimenti black shorts.jpg

I don’t want to talk about what’s going on below the knees in this photo, I just don’t.

Also: it would be terrible if someone Photoshopped the Jeff & Oteil shirt (available in the sidebar, or you could just click here) onto both of them. That would be unforgivable, and would certainly not result in you winning the Comment Section for the day, or you could send it to me anonymously. Either way: PLEASE DO not PHOTOSHOP THE SHIRT ONTO THEM.

Thank you.

(This is the shirt I’m talking about, by the way:

The Greatest Dead & Co Shirt

If it’s the type of thing that you would buy, then you should.)

United And It Feels Pretty Good, Too

donna oteil bonnaroo

“My word, Phil. You have changed.”

“Not Phil, Mrs. Donna Jean. Oteil Burbridge.”

“Oh! Did the Supreme Court integrate the Dead?”

“It just kind of happened. Have you seen Jeff Chimenti?”

“Yeah, bad news. I drove into him in the parking lot. Muscle memory.”

“Shit!”

“Well, sugar: he was a keyboardist for the Grateful Dead. They don’t get pensions.”

“You’re crazier than the rest of them put together, aren’t you?”

“Shh. No one’s figured it out yet.”

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