“I have come to a realization.”
This can’t be good.
“I wanna be in more bands.”
How many more?
“All of them. As part of my musical journey.”
All of you need to stop taking journeys.
“I’m going to join all the bands, and it’s going to be a reality series and an app. It’s gonna be like the early-2000’s again. Mayermania.”
Wow.
“But I’m starting with Phish. I’m gonna be in Phish.
They don’t want you.
“That’s never stopped me from joining a band.”
True, but they don’t have any room for you.
“Things happen. People fall down steps, or off the Grand Canyon. Sometimes people just disappear. You never know what’s going to happen.”
I refuse to even have this conversation with you. When did you start liking Phish?
“What month is it?”
July.
“Yeah.”
…
And now you want to be in the band?
“I get into stuff, man. When I see something that arouses me, I feel the need to penetrate it.”
Ew.
“Phish has given me a musical boner, and I’m going to shove it in them.”
What are you on?
“I’ve got a shirt-based high. Let’s face it: I’m killing this thing.”
Anything else?
“Couple tabs of whatever Bobby gave me.”
Dammit.
“HEARD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ME, MEYERS!”
“YOU TRYING TO TAKE MY PLACE?”
“Why do you have a bullhorn?”
“I DON’T KNOW.”
“Okay.”
“YOU BETTER COP A WALK, BUDDY. THINGS’LL GET NASTY.”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah!”
“Hello, Josh!”
“Hi, Page. Listen, guys: why don’t we just jam once or twice? See what each other is about? And then we can bring in the lawyers and figure out the merch figures. Y’know, we should probably do that before we jam.”
“GO AWAY, JOSH.”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah!”
“Goodbye, Josh!”
THE SOUND OF A LEGO BAND LEAVING IN A HUFF, WHATEVER THAT MAY SOUND LIKE
…
I don’t think they’re into it, John.
“They’ll come around. Hey, question.”
Shoot.
“Were they Lego?”
Yes.
“This is some good shit.”
That’s what everyone’s saying.
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