Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: winterland (Page 4 of 5)

Jeremiah

art dark star 1535 days since SF

Jeremiah watches and keeps the count; he has always done so.

Did you think Jeremiah abandoned his post after the last notes seeped out of the crumbling building and soaked into the parked cars along Steiner Street, tangled with the early morning feral cats patrolling Post? Walked away as if his job was done?

Foolish to think so.

On that first day after the SF Dark Star, Jeremiah slept late. He still had a “1” posted in the number section of the banner by mid-morning, though. This was his task; it had just begun and had been going on for quite some time.

He watched the city come and go, boom and bust: San Francisco was always beautiful despite her chill, and still gritty no matter how much cash flowed up and down Market.

Jeremiah watched men and woman fall in love, marry, raise children, die: all without an SF Dark Star and this saddened him. Would he be the last one left? Were there no more encores left in the evening?

He was there watching during the Big One, the 9.2 that broke and burned California. The Golden Gate was his hero: four cables snapped, that’s all–she braved the cataclysm and earned herself a scar. The Oakland bay Bridge, on the other hand, collapsed instantly. Thousands died in simply the most horrifying way you can picture. Jeremiah tried hard to concentrate on the silver lining

Keep the days straight, an eye on the horizon, an ear to the ground, a shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone, nipples to the polling place: watch and keep the count, Jeremiah. Watch and keep the count.

There were men all around him at first and the guy selling blue jeans and white t-shirts must have been doing some business. And there were more men and more. And then there weren’t as many. Jeremiah had no idea where these men were disappearing to, but it must have been overflowing. Perhaps there was a Dark Star there. If there was, he would hear.

Jeremiah watched the men and women and children of San Francisco leave, supplanted by guys. Workers. Callow punks who talked about disrupting society. Jeremiah knew about disruption: the SF Dark Star.

Everybody’s going to want a dose.

The techies left right after the money left; San Francisco was ceded back to the whores and merchants who founded her and the city went back to smoking dope and sheltering runaways. Jeremiah liked it better this way, but he was not a critic. He watched, kept the count.

Jeremiah was there for the Robolution, when the city more than held her own as it turns out that anyplace built on a series of 20 degree inclines is eminently defensible. He was there for the Hobolution, when the homeless people started punching dicks for social justice.

He was there when the AI that runs the trolley cars became self-aware and the cars leapt off their tracks and started humping each other.

Could an SF Dark Star have helped ay of these things? Jeremiah believed so, but it was just belief. There had been so very many days since the last SF Dark Star.

There would be another, though. There’s always another SF Dark Star.

Jeremiah watches and keeps the count; he will always do so.

Rising First And Shining Best

How bad can a day turn out when you wake up with Terrapin Station bouncing around your skull? Here’s a stellar version of Garcia and Hunter’s prayer to the Morning Star from the Winterland ’77 box set to start your Spring off right:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYNeNuZRfuY&w=420&h=315]

Kick today’s ass like it owed you money and cat-called your mom, fellow Enthusiasts.

 

Feed Me, Fillmore

wos winterland lips

If the Dead were playing more than one night, they would leave the Wall set up and the road crew would draw straws to see who would stay with it; a member of the crew was always onstage with the gear, no exceptions. Ramrod drew the short straw on the first night in that February ’74 run. He had curled up under the piano for a little pre-dawn nap when he head a voice coming from the Wall.

“Feed me,” the voice said.

It's A Gas, Gas, Gas

Winterland 12:31:77

Those balloons? They ain’t full of air.

It’s better to simply avoid nitrous oxide, instead of the more common relationship people have with the gas, which is to enjoy it immensely until, one afternoon, they enjoy it slightly too immensely and get a dick-hair away from stroking out and never do it again. Everyone with a certain level of drug-fondness who has made it to a certain age has had that one bad time; nitrous is Latin for ‘tequila’.

Take Me Where The Music Plays

Winterland was to rock what Trafalgar was to the Empire, but with slightly more dead Brits. It was the proving ground, where you came to make your bones; perhaps even more the place you came to call it a night. The Band, the Pistols, hell: the Sixties and the Seventies probably both came to a close in the cavernous barn that somehow managed to be sweaty and chilly at the same time.

winterland setup

Crumbling around the crowd and bent under the weight of the Ghosts of Capades Past, Winterland was a dump: outmoded and dilapidated even before it began its run as the House That Bill Graham Built.

Autosave-File vom d-lab2/3 der AgfaPhoto GmbH

There’s a Yiddish word: haimish. It means a whole bunch of things, because of all the things Jews enjoy about themselves (and, trust me, there are many), the “fact” that Yiddish words take at least twenty minutes, three anecdotes, and a Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda to explain. The gist is homey and comfortable, like a couch made out of boobs.

That’s what Winterland was, all thanks to Bill Graham and if you didn’t give him all the thanks, he would scream about you to Herb Caen and then 86 you while yelling lines from old Elia Kazan movies. He offered haimish…as long as you weren’t acting like a schmuck. Don’t even get me started on what he would do to gonnifs! The only person allowed to steal in Winterland was Bill.

He had a great scam: at the end of the night, the promoter and the road manager sit there in the office and count the ticket stubs. X stubs and Y dollars equals cash on the barrel. So Bill would have the ticket takers gently, carefully, lovingly take the ticket, not rip it…for the first two or three thousand folks, anyway, so when the Dead looked out…

Winterland 1:1:1979

…and saw what was clearly around eight or nine thousand filthy, filthy hippies, Bill could point to the receipts and actually mean the old line: Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?

The Twelve Sexy Labors Of Twerkules

bill graham winterland 12:31:77

“Twerking? TWERKING? No, no: Bill Graham productions would never be involved with any such thing–twerking, what is this? We have clean, family acts: Pentangle’s opening for Moby Grape this weekend; next month we have The Cream and Albert Ayler is on the bill because these fakakta kids don’t know what’s good for them, so BILL GRAHAM’S GONNA MAKE ‘EM LISTEN!

“No twerking, no, what the fuck is that? why are you even asking me about twerking? Are you aware of how I spent my childhood and you’re still saying the word ‘twerking’ to me? Astonishing. BILL GRAHAM’S THROWING YOU OUT OF THIS BILL GRAHAM PRODUCTION!”

Change One Letter

Phil Tesh – John’s brother, stays in the guest place out back. Watches the kids, takes care of the house when we’re gone. Good guy, glad to have him around, good guy when he’s not drinking. 4 months, knock wood: we’re proud of him. Oh, damn, is it 3 o’clock already? I have to get Simon to soccer practice. Nice talking to you. Wait: who are you? How did you get in my backyard? JOHN! COME HERE! COME HERE AND PROTECT YOUR LAND, JOHN TESH!

Donna Bean – Cousin to the lima, pinto, refried, Mexican jumping, and the Funky Winker.

Drums/Spade – That time in 79 when, after the drum solo, Phil, et al, sat at a card table Parrish had set up and played Spades for a good 35 minutes, which is impressive when you realize that Bobby didn’t know the rules, Brent was losing on purpose to get people to like him, and Garcia had snuck back into his dressing room two or three hands into the session.

Winterhand – The nickname of the groupie with poor circulation who liked giving tuggers.

Sex Luthor – All of his elaborate plans involve Superman’s butt, and doing weird stuff to it. Supes has had it up to fucking here, man.

Wall of Hound – One time, Billy got high as fuck and piled three or four dogs on top of each other and made people come and look, repeating the joke all afternoon, and then he got bored and punched one of the dogs in the dick, and I’m gonna tell you something about dogs: they have no concept of the proper deference due to a rock star, so no matter what band you’re in, if you punch a dog in his dick, he’s going to completely lose his shit on you, plus the other dogs were mildly annoyed with Billy anyway, so they joined in and all of them chased Billy around for an hour or so; he was bitten repeatedly, and let’s face it: he simply could not have deserved it more.

Knob Weir – What Bobby calls his dick sometimes.

Cob Weir – What he calls it other times.

Throb Weir – Bobby also calls his penis this.

Mickey Fart

Robbing Peter To Pay Wall

It’s ’74: there’s no internet or reliable way to get any sort of news about your favorite popular group. There was the hip radio station, and Rolling Stone and Creem (who didn’t cover the Dead, anyway) and the guys who hung around the record store.  No forums, livestreaming, whatever-the-fuck-else that people are talking about that confuses and frightens me: you were walking into the show blind. Perhaps you had heard something about a new PA system, a big one.

And you walk in and see this:

wos winterland

Would your fight-or-flight response kick in? That thing clearly doesn’t belong here, in this dimension. Should you run headlong at it and make a last stand? Welcome our new amplifier overlords? If you were a cyborg, would it give you a boner? If you were a boner, would it give you a cyborg?

Stop talking.

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