A Terrible Poem About Instagram Hotties

They told us it was the Age of the Twinks
They should have warned us about the
Instagram Hotties

O God they’re everywhere
(If “everywhere” is Tulum
Miami
Bali
And Tokyo.
Tokyo is so kawaii.)
And they can run us down
With their superior cardio.

Don’t hit Like.
They can’t see you if you don’t hit Like.
I think one’s looking at me
Back over her shoulder.

Coachella fell first
Even Beyoncé was powerless against their tooth-whitening kits
Then went Ultra
There was blood on the dance floor
At the Electric Daisy Carnival
Avicii–SO YOUNG!

They all seem somehow Australian.

Back off, Hottie.
I’ll call your Mother Agent.