Prince & the Revolution live from 1985; only up for a few days, so hop on it.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: 3/30/85 from the Carrier Dome in Syracuse, NY. I know we care about that sort of thing.)
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Author: Thoughts On The Dead (Page 47 of 1031)
I won’t hold it against you. You’re busy. Maybe you got bodies to bury. Or wine to press. Or body-wine to press. (You can make booze from corpses. Should you? I dunno. But you can.)
I promise that tonight’s Stones performance will feature zero (0) appearances by U2, and none of Mick’s solo stuff. Swear to God.
THE HIGHLIGHTS!
- Special guests including Axl, Izzy, John Lee Hooker, and Eric Clapton! (You may go to the bathroom during Eric Clapton!)
- Mick’s sexy belly!
- Bill Wyman standing there being ugly and creepy!
- Basketball Head is involved, somehow, because he ruins everything!
- I’m gonna get plastered and maybe say some real inappropriate shit!
- There is a 3D section, because that was a thing back then!
- Gonna definitely share my thoughts on Mick’s potato salad!
- That one’s for sure!
- The getting-drunk-and-racist thing might happen, but talking about Mick’s block-and-tackle is gonna happen!
…if you’re watching the Stones and getting blackout drunk with me?
PRO: I stink, and bathing would remedy that.
CON: My stink is my friend. Why would I want to kill my friend?
PRO: The people at the supermarket would not have to smell my nastiness.
CON: Fuck ’em. Fuck ’em dry and haltingly.
PRO: I would need to wash a towel afterwards, and that would be something to do, which would be nice.
CON: Water might make me feel something, which would suck. I had an emotion yesterday, and it was awful. Not doing that again for a while.
PRO: stitute.
CON: stitute.
PRO: by, PJ.
CON: voy, we got a big ol’
Scale of 1-10, how nuts are you?
Cashews.
Buy some cashews at the supermarket.
Good idea.
And shower. I can smell you, and I’m discorporeal.
Interesting.
- Have you been accused repeatedly of being back on your bullshit?
- Do you no longer miss your bullshit, being as that you are back on it?
- If I asked you right now, “Where is your bullshit? would you reply, “Under me. I’m back on it.”
This is gonna stop. What’s wrong with you?
Well–and I don’t know if I’ve made you aware of this–I am losing my mind.
We have all been made aware.
BATTLING THE DARKNESS, MUCHACHO.
Stop saying “muchacho.”
And I made a decision about my encroaching mental instability. I have decided to–
Please don’t say “Turn into the skid.”
–turn into the skid.
Goddammit.
I’m embracing the breakdown. I’m gonna take my dick out in the food court.
The food court’s closed. We went over this in the previous post.
The food court is metaphorical.
Ah.
But, since it’s Florida, the food court is also open.
Huh.
Good for you. Lotta fuckers are pushing that “productivity” shit nowadays, but they’re gonna die just like the rest of us, and they’re gonna wish they took more pre-noon bingers and blasted more B-minus/C-plus Los Angeles crap-rock.
What else were you planning on? Showering? FOR WHOM? Spending time with your family? YOU HATE THEM. Going down to the food court and handing out Cherokee Nose Jobs? FOOD COURT’S CLOSED, WHAMMAJAMMA!
You got nothing better to do. There is nothing better to do. This is it, muchachos: Tubes and FasPus.* Get used to it.
*Real Faster Pussycat fans call the band “FasPus.”
…we’re gonna watch the Stones from ’91 in Atlantic City on this site called Watch2Gether. 8 o’clock Eastern. I’ll post the link tomorrow morning.
Tonight, watch the Stones from ’72 in Germany.
It’s either that or suicide.
Billy Idol’s real name: William Broad.
John Legends’s real name: John Stephens.
Stevie Wonder’s real name: Stevie Fuckin’ Wonder.
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