• Transformers are not real.
  • There is no evidence to suggest that Joe Biden is part of the Yakuza.
  • Saying “Anoroc!” three times into a mirror has not been proven to cure COVID19.
  • Speaking of which, the American people should not be “lucky that they’re not dealing with COVID20 or 21;” these diseases do not exist.
  • Trump Tower is not now, nor has it ever been, one of Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
  • President Trump did not “secretly manage the NY Giants” for any length of time.
  • Donald Junior is not a “strong boy,” nor is he a “good boy,” nor is he “such a good, good boy.”
  • The Constitution does not grant anyone the power to “turn Chicago into a giant prison like in Escape From New York.”
  • Cacti do not contain milk.
  • Nancy Pelosi was born and raised in Baltimore, not “belched from a stygian bog thick with foul magicks.”
  • There is no mechanism by which the President can add or subtract elements from the Periodic Table.
  • President Trump has ten grandchildren, not seven-and-a-half.
  • While former NFL great Herschel Walker has a solid reputation among his peers, he cannot rightly be called “the most respected Black of all.”
  • The language of Portuguese is not “just mumbled Spanish.”
  • Kamala Harris has never even been questioned in relation to a bank robbery, let alone served twelve years at Pelican Bay for knocking over a string of Wells Fargos in the San Jose area.
  • The Democratic platform contains no reference to “holding your white daughters down and shooting them up with dirty drugs.”
  • There is no such thing as a Reverse Pardon.
  • Iguanas and chameleons are completely different animals.
  • The Caesar salad was not named after Cesar Romero.