And the other two credit reporting companies, which I think are called Yoyodyne and Weyland-Yeutani. But fuck Equifax in particular, and in an orifice not of Equifax’s choosing, because they apparently use the honor system as security on their databases. Baddies stole all your info, Enthusiasts! Was it the ChiComs? The St. Petersburg-based Internet Research Agency? What about Barron? I heard Barron was good with the cyber, so maybe Barron Trump now has all your personal information and is using it to catfish Rebel Wilson. (Barron likes his ladies large and not funny.)
Shockingly enough, a federal agency is still staffed and pursuing its mission: the Federal Trade Commission slapped Equifax with an enormous class action suit on behalf of 150 million people the business fucked; the suit was settled, and if you were included in the breach–the odds of which are roughly 50%–you’re entitled to one hundred and twenty-five American dollars. SECURE YOUR BAG. Get that money, ho.
(For those of you wary of giving Equifax your private information: THEY ALREADY HAD IT. That’s what started this whole mess. It takes less than a minute; the only way to make money faster than that is to be a sex worker who exclusively caters to premature ejaculators. GO GET YOUR FUCKING MONEY.)
I will expect a Finder’s Free of ten percent from each of you.
Yes-you are right Fuck equifax and Fuck the other two companies too.Few years back I wound up with a free year in an incident at a retail store where some irresponsible fuck left a laptop with the SS numbers of half the people in the nation in his car. Once you accept this then they bombard you with e-mails for an expensive upgrade.Oh please!Next comes sixty zillion e-mails wanting you to take out a personal loan since your credit is so great!So the people who decide if you can get a loan are now selling loans!A fucking ponzi scheme or dam close to it.Thats my rant-bottom line fuck them!Tot D you hit the nail on the head.Ps-for the record I also got screwed in two other thefts of either comprised computer information or possible SS breach.
Thanks for the help. I will definitely send you a gratuity when i get my money.
he gets wet
without even trying
But wait, it gets better. From https://boingboing.net/2019/07/29/equifax-is-going-to-rip-you-of.html
From Equifax’s FAQ:
If there are more than $31 million claims for Alternative Reimbursement Compensation, all payments for Alternative Reimbursement Compensation will be lowered and distributed on a proportional basis.
That means you will get $125 only if fewer than 250,000 people file a claim. It’s likely many more people will file a claim. Supposed 10% of those affected (14.7 million) file a claim. They’d each get a check for $2.11.