I’m so excited for you. New dog.

“Oh, yeah. Now, uh, we get to name him.”

Got a short list?

“Thinking about giving him one of those scary names. King or Killer or Bill Cosby.”

Don’t call the dog Bill Cosby.

“We’ll see. I usually let my dogs name themselves. They, you know, suggest their own.”

How did Otis suggest his name?

“That is a common misconception. He wasn’t called ‘Otis.’ It was ‘OTUS.’ Short for Of The United States.”

Uh-huh.

“Like POTUS.”

I get it. And why did you name him that?

“Well, he was definitely of the United States. He, uh, never left the country, actually. Not even to Canada.”

Sure.

“How about OJ?”

For the dog?

“Yeah.”

Bobby, please don’t name your new pet after infamous African-American men.

“Bumpy Johnson?”

…

That would be okay.

“Glad I have your approval.”