Tea! The stuff you drink at Chinese restaurants, or when your throat hurts, or if you’re some sort of intellectual sissypants! The British invaded literally the entire world because it! A beverage that tastes wonderful once you add five or six spoons of sugar! You know: tea!
Well, the Dead are selling it now. It’s not a $3,000 blanket, but it’s something. This winter, the Grateful Dead are proud to present you, the addlepated consumer who reflexively digs into your pocket like a trained monkey every time you see a fucking skeleton, with their new line of teas. You’re gonna love all the new flavors:
- What an Oolong Strange Trip it’s Been.
- Chai Time.
- Dressed Myself in Green Tea.
- The Bushels of Corn and the Chamomile.
- John Perry Barley Tea.
- If You Plant Iced Tea, You’re Gonna Harvest Wind.
- Playing in the Dandelion Tea.
- Orange Pekoe with a Stealie Slapped on the Bag.
All varieties come in limited-edition, specially-designed boxes that are simply dripping in Grateful Dead bullshit.
Touch of Earl Gray
My Darjeeling Sugaree
I missed a ton of good ones.
amazing
Tea for Texas just to obvious for you? Tea for Timbuktu? Tea right here wherever, oops, oh yeah, the rest of those lyrics are in the problem attic now.
Dammit. I always forget the real obvious ones.
Might as well chai
Altea
A Hundred Thousand Liptons of Steel
American Beaut Tea
How Sweet or Unsweet It Is
Black Muddy Tea
Saint Steepin’
Run for the Rooibos
Reds, Vitamin C, & Cocaine
Ginseng Me Back Home
Celestial Seasons Cash Grab Tea Bags & Co.
Love these! I can tell you know how to do long road trips between shows.
This is good hustle out there
What do we have for my favorite tea?
Lapsong SooChong?
Bird Souchong?
Lapsang Me Back Souchong?
It Must Have Been The Rose Hips
(And I know there has to be one for Jasmine in their somewhere too, but I can’t figger it . . . )
I actually got a couple of these for free a year or so back at the Boulder d&c shows. Think they gave em out at Lockn, too, maybe? Pretty tasty stuff. Much cooler when it was a novelty freebie :/