“All right, that’s it. We’re going outside.”
“Bob, we’re at a press conference.”
“Good! The world needs to know.”
“Know what?”
“You’ll find out. Let’s go, pal. I’m gonna knock the butt off your chin.”
“We’re trying to raise money for AIDS, man.”
“I’ll AIDS you.”
“Nope. Doesn’t make any sense.”
“You are my sworn enemy, Hewis Lewis–”
“Please stop calling me that.”
“–and I’m gonna thump ya. Parking lot time, buddy.”
“I really don’t wanna, Bob.”
CELL PHONE NOISE
…
“What the hell was that?”
“Your cell phone, HuLu.”
“That’s even worse than Hewis. What’s a cell phone?”
“Oh, right. Your band doesn’t have access to Time Sheath technology.”
“I regret ever meeting any of the Grateful Dead. All of you are weirdos.”
CELL PHONE NOISE
“How did this thing get in my pocket?”
“Just answer it, and I’ll explain the concept of semi-fictionality to you afterwards.”
…
“Huey Lewis speaking.”
“Lewis, it’s the President. Do you need backup to fight the hippie?”
“I’ll send Robocop.”
…
“What the fuck is happening?”
“Dammit, Lewis, you’re gonna lay that hippie filth out. You, son, are what’s good with America, and the fairy next to you is what’s wrong. I’ll bet he’s wearing sandals. I’ll bet you can see his toes. Not you, Lewis. You wear shoes like a man. You lace them up in the morning, and don’t remove them until the day’s work is done. I don’t understand much of the youth music, but I can tell a decent Christian man when I see his haircut.”
“Is this Richard Nixon?”
“It is. Elvis refers to me as ‘Nix.’ You, uh, may not do so.”
“I truly wish I had not become involved with the Grateful Dead.”
“That’s it: I’m sending Robocop.”
Killin’ It. I’ll never stop lol
My friend grabbed a ball of slimy mardi gras beads out of the gutter in 1991 and threw them at Huey and hit him in the face. Huey was on a float for one of the parades, one of the lamer parades.
After the beads hit Huey straight on the cheek, my friend was like trying to melt into the crowd chuckling “Huey Lewis wants to kick my ass”
It was sort of a dick move in the sense that the beads were soaked in street slime.
But well, in the big scheme of things, it all worked out.
And in his defense, he had been living on liquor and sleeping on the sidewalk or in the car for 3 days.
I have to admit a mild fond spot for Hewis. He and the News were improbably invited to play a show for the Brigade of Midshipmen at the Naval Academy when I was there, I think during my sophomore year. We must have done something collectively such that they powers that be thought we deserved a reward or something (like beating Army or something), or maybe this was just a stop on some USO type gig. Now, I was regularly climbing the wall to escape the yard and going to DC to see hardcore and post-punk shows at the 930 Club and other places, because I was a bad midshipman, but for 98%+ of the Brigade, this was probably the only live music they saw all year, beyond our Drum and Bugle Corps. It was quite surreal accordingly, but pleasantly enjoyable, with lots of white guys in white uniforms biting their lips and busting their moves while standing in front of their chairs. For the encore, Lewis came out and said “Well, they told me we couldn’t play this one, but . . . ” and they launched into “New Drug.” Good job, Hewis. Fight the power.
Huey’s the man.