• Baseball bat with nails sticking out of it.
  • Straight razor wielded by a guy dancing back and forth while chuckling about what he was gonna do to you.
  • Balloon animals filled with chlorine gas.
  • Bloomsday device. (Like a doomsday device, but more literary.)
  • Guns that shoot smaller guns.
  • Bayonet that sneaks into your room while you sleep and plays with your feet.
  • Turtle with razor blades taped to its shell.
  • A literal, actual, honest-to-god beyblade.
  • Bazookas that can only be fired through hate.
  • Nude Bomb.
  • Jewmarang, which is a boomerang that, when it returns, charges you interest.

No. No. Stop that. A: it doesn’t make any sense as a joke; and, B: it’s racist.

Jews aren’t a race.

I thought they were.

How are we defining “race” again?

Just knock it off. Isn’t it time for your nap?

Getting there!