Once You See Him

Hey, gorgeous.

“Oh, hello. Danke. Ja, Ich bin hot und bra-less.”

Not you.

“Me?”

Absolutely not. Nice afro, though.

…

“You talking to me?”

This picture’s all about you, Redshirt.

“Um, thanks? Nice and all, but I really don’t–”

SHHH. Don’t talk. Just stand there and look dumb.

“This is weird.”

I would totally rather have you on my face than VR goggles.

“I don’t know what that means.”

Oh, really? Why?

“This is Woodstock. It’s the past”

Huh. What year?

“’69.”

…

Ahhhhh, yeah.

“Okay, I’m gonna go.”

And I’m gonna watch you walk away, you beefcake.

“Don’t talk to me.”

Y’know, you hippies had an awfully circumscribed definition of “free love.”