“You married?”
“Not, uh, married. Long-time boyfriend, though.”
“Your hat doesn’t count.”
“A human. I am dating a human male, Phil.”
“Just dating, though?”
“Why are you–”
“I need another grandchild. You and Grahame are gonna make me one.”
“Phil, I–”
“Stand up. Lemme see your hips.”
“Completely inappropriate.”
“Young lady, I’m 80 years old and I’ve had 15 different cancers. Time is running out. I need a grandkid and I need one now.”
“Isn’t Grahame married?”
“Yeah, and I call her Munchhausen.”
“Why?”
“Barren!”
“Jesus.”
“But not you. You’ve got the glow of fertility all over you.”
“Phil, no.”
“I’ll give you my Porsche. Right now. You can drive home tonight in a Porsche. Just let Grahame at your cracker. You won’t even know he’s in there.”
“I don’t want to be having this conversation any more.”
“I didn’t want to do it this way.”
YOINK!
“Hey!”
OLD BASSIST RUNNING AWAY NOISE
“Give me my hat back!”
“You’ll get it back after the rabbit dies!”
“Just let Grahame at your cracker.”
When those doofuses (doofi?) in Sweden finally get their shit together & give you your Nobel Prize in Literature, I really hope this line makes it into the press release.
I once attempted to compile a list of Sir Thoughts’ best one liners/zingers…and then I ran out of virtual space in my email.
At some point, this site will be combed through like the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Damn straight.
This might be the single best repository of simultaneous laughter/musical commentary/MetaFiction/Political Science I’ve ever seen.
Long may it run.