Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Possible Sarah Huckabee Sanders Replacements

  • 65 pounds of rained-on mulch.
  • That lady from Oakland who called the cops on the barbecue.
  • Burt Reynolds’ brain implanted into a giant praying mantis mech.
  • A sponge that’s been soaking in rabies.
  • Glasya-Labolas, Author of Blood.
  • Pennywise.
  • Daphne Zuniga. (I’m of two minds on this one. On one hand, Daphne Zuniga doesn’t get enough work. On the other, I am a fan of the woman’s, and don’t want her anywhere near the President. Oh, God, I hope she hasn’t turned into a Trump person. How terrible would that be if Daphne Zuniga pulled a James Woods? I can’t bare to look. Okay, I looked: Daphne Zuniga was born in Berkeley and sits on a bunch of environmental group’s boards. Phew.)
  • Woman from a Bangkok sex show who shoots ping-pong balls at April Ryan.
  • A hand-lettered sign reading “Cuz fuck all y’all, that’s why.”
  • Jeff Dunham & Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
  • 18 turds in a 14-turd sack.
  • Toe-spiders. (There are either spiders that live in your toes, or spiders with human toes for legs. I haven’t decided.)

4 Comments

  1. Smoke

    If this comedy doesn’t work out, you could just try horror. “Toe Spiders?” Yeash.

  2. Wrayven

    It will probably be Kayleigh McEnany, Katrina Pierson or some other Fox News regular, but I definitely vote for the Oakland BBQ whiner(known as BBQ Becky). She is fat, white and full of grievance. Seems a perfect fit for Emperor Drain the Swamp. She even looks a bit like Sarah Huckabooboo. This video never gets old. If only Marshawn Lynch could have been there:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXzdzKDoGLM

  3. Luther Von Baconson

    ?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_H4Y3YdstdE

    • Luther Von Baconson

      this goes well with Truckin’ Europe ’72 in the headphones.

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