Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: dead & company (Page 20 of 38)

Same Shit, Different Band

June 17, 2016 / / 4 Comments

mickey sailor hat

“You take that thing off, jackass.”

“Kiss my dick and sing your sailboat song.”

“Take it off or I’m telling Irving.”

“He’ll side with me. Rules of being Jewish.”

“No, he’ll side with me. I’m the singer. Rules of the music business.”

“Ha! The music business IS Jewish! You’re screwed, Weir!”

“Take off the hat and play the song right!”

“Make me!”

“Fine!”

PUBLICPUNCHINGPUBLICPUNCHING

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE

“Um, John?”

“Yeah, O?”

“Our guitarist and drummer are punching one another.”

“No, man. I”m the guitarist.”

…

“Is there some sort of group chat I’m not privy to where these running jokes get passed around?”

“What?”

“Forget about it. Weren’t you wearing a hat?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

And The Couch Tour Goes Rolling Along

June 17, 2016 / / 0 Comments

dedandco deer creek poster

Pop your corn and pack your bowls, Enthusiasts: 2016 Couch Tour continues apace with tonight’s show in Deer Creek, home to one of the few riots in Dead history; that probably won’t happen this evening. This is supposed to be the stream, but more will pop up as the show goes on; if someone listening wants to post a better link or a Periscope in the Comment Section, then that would be both peachy and keen.

Jam Band; Jam, Band

June 17, 2016 / / 2 Comments

jm eddie vedder bonnaroo

“So, Eddie: I was thinking–”

“You can’t join Pearl Jam.”

“–what if I…okay.”

“Sorry, man.”

“Just throwing it out there.”

“If you don’t ask, you don’t know.”

“Right.”

“And, um–this is a bit awkward–Jeff Ament wants his hat back.”

…

“This is my hat, Eddie.”

“Please don’t make this weird.”

“I bought this at the Macy’s in Geneva. It cost 12 grand.”

“No, no. Jeff bought it at a flea market in Madison, Wisconsin. I was with him. We ate deep-fried cotton candy.”

“You can deep-fry cotton candy?”

“You can deep-fry anything if you’re American enough.”

“It’s my hat, Eddie.”

“C’mon, man. Gimme the–”

“Don’t you–”

“Just gimme Jeff’s–

“Get your hands off–”

IN THE NEXT DRESSING ROOM

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

“C’mon in. Hey, Oteil. What’s up?”

“Nothing much, Bobby. Um…our guitarist and Eddie Vedder are punching each other next door.”

“No, no: I’m our guitarist.”

“Our other guitarist.”

“Josh?”

…

“Sure?”

“That’s what that noise is? I figured it was Billy.”

Roar, Shock

June 16, 2016 / / 0 Comments

Portable Network Graphics image-A34F56754D04-1

“No, Mickey.”

“Are they swag or not?”

“You can’t yoink one. They’re two grand.”

“Two grand retail. Don’t tell me retail.”

“They’re for contest winners, Mickey. Do you want a t-shirt?”

“I have one of every t-shirt within a ten-mile radius of this venue. Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m Mickey fucking Hart, man. I invented the Merch Yoink.”

“The Merch Yoink?”

“I also named it.”

“I got that.”

“It’s like Prima Nocte. Members of the band are entitled to free shirts.”

“Shirts, Mickey. Not hand-made guitars.”

“Ah, what’s the difference?”

“So much. So, so much difference.”

“Why is Poppin Fresh there?”

“What? Who?”

“Poppin Fresh.”

POKE

“Tee-hee! Poppin Fresh.”

“Mickey, please don’t poke me.”

“You don’t see him?”

“Where?”

“There.”

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 10.34.46 PM

“Poppin Fresh.”

“I don’t see it, Mickey.”

“What? You’re nuts. It’s Poppin Fresh. What do you see?”

“My mother stabbing my father 27 times.”

“I think that’s on you, man.”

“No, no: look again.”

…

“I totally see your mother stabbing your father 27 times.”

“Right?”

“I can see it when I cross my eyes a little.”

“Oh, I see it every time I close my eyes.”

…

“Just give me a t-shirt.”

“We actually don’t have any.”

…

YOINK!

runrunrunrun

…

…

…

“What the fuck just happened?”

Gimme One Good Dose Of Mayer

June 16, 2016 / / 2 Comments

jm deadandco bonnaroo water bottle

Hey, John Mayer. Whatcha doing?

“Bonnaroo. Rooooooo. Bonnabonnabonnaroooooooo.”

Okay.

“Windows, like, bring the outside to the forefront.”

What?

“Gooses.”

…

John, where’d you get the water bottle?

“Billy.”

Ah.

“Wha? Oh. Ohhhhhhhh.”

…

“Fuck. I got, um, show? Show.”

Rookie mistake, Meyers.

“Bananaramaroooooooooooooo.”

Right.

He’s The Kind Of Guy That Likes To Earthroam Around

June 15, 2016 / / 2 Comments

…

You okay, slugger?

I did something dumb.

There’s still some quicklime left.

Quicklime? You don’t bury bodies here. You toss them into canals and the gators do the work for you.

Right. Did you actually kill someone?

No, worse.

Did you try downloading Snapchat again?

Yeah.

And you didn’t understand how it worked, or what it was?

These apps nowadays. They’re not like the apps we had growing up. There’s no soul to them.

Right. At least tell me you were going to use the Snapchat for pornographic purposes.

…

You were going to take screenshots of John Mayer’s Snapchat so you can make up your little stories?

He’s back in the Earthroamer, and I he posted about it but this is the biggest shot I can find:

jm earthroamer gear snapchat

That is inadequate.

That word never looks right.

Inadequate?

Yeah.

How should it be spelled?

I don’t know. Am I an pint-sized black orphan adopted by a linebacker who went on to write a dictionary?

You’ve got your Websters all mixed up.

The point being: I find it rude of Young John Mayer to not post many excellent shots of himself and his Dead & Company bandmates in his Earthroamer on a social media platform I am capable of accessing, or understanding. Not right. Sad!

Please don’t do that.

How dare he! After I allowed him to become a Grateful Dead!?

These kids today.

And their apps.

Sure, slugger.

The Hottest New Celebrity Couple Is Johnna

June 14, 2016 / / 0 Comments

donna jm bonnaroo dancing

“Well, ain’t you a tall mint julep! I’ll drink you on a hot Alabama afternoon.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Martin-Godchaux-McKay-Stamos. It’s so awesome to get to meet you.”

“You the Bobby now? Every band needs a Bobby.”

“Um, well, actually: I guess I’m the Garci–”

“AAHHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAAHAAHHAAAHA! No. No. No. Bless your pretty heart, no.

“That was just mean.”

“I apologize, sugar, but you can’t be walking around with that idea. You take that idea down to the bar on Saturday night, you ain’t makin’ it to church on Sunday morning. Oh, excuse me: maybe you go to Jewish church. Is ‘Meyers’ a Jewish name?”

“I have no idea what kind of name ‘Meyers’ is.”

“Heritage is important, pumpkin. Would you like some barbiturates?”

“I don’t think they make those anymore, ma’am.”

“I got a stash.”

“No, thank you.”

“More for Mama. How them drummers treating you?”

“They learned my name. Or, you know: close enough.”

“That’s good.”

“And they’ve both stopped whipping drumsticks at the back of my head.”

“Oh, that could be good or bad. They might like you, or they might have run out of drumsticks.”

“What happens when they run out of drumsticks to throw?”

“They throw drums.”

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