Are you wearing yoga pants?

“All pants are yoga pants if you’re bendy enough.”

Why the sudden pivot to fitness blogging?

“Gotta up the follower count on the Gram. Monet has been coaching me. Trying to get some spockcock going.”

Sponcon.

“Spooncows.”

Sponcon, Bobby. It’s short for sponsored content.

“Ah. And what about the spoon cows?”

I have no information about them.

“Thoughts and prayers. So, uh, we’re just really talking about ads here, right?”

Yes.

“I’ve done plenty of ads.”

Some people would call that selling out.

“Fuck ’em.”

Sure.

“Most of the ads were for guitar companies and so forth. They’d snap a few shots of me and I’d leave with a trunkful of gear and an envelope of cash. Luthiers were a lot less reputable back in the 70’s.”

I’ve read that.

“What kind of stuff gets promoted on Instagram? Chapstick?”

No. Weight-loss teas and tooth whitening gel and hair-thickening gummy bears.

“All I heard was ‘snake oil.'”

Good ear.

“You should see my feet.”

I’m really trying not to look at those.