If someone endeavored to create a perfect five minutes for me, it might combine my love of strong women, low tolerance for foolishness, Star Wars, and a dog named Gary.
Carrie Fisher might have used up her last fuck on Ronald Reagan’s re-election. Watch this.
Poor Gary…
He’s a good boy.
Neither here nor there, decoration, at best…
https://img0.etsystatic.com/013/0/7694697/il_570xN.463710376_fgpz.jpg
#waronchristmas
Eek, when I was in church yesterday they asked us all to stop saying “Happy Holidays” and go back to saying “Merry Christmas” because “Jesus is the reason for the season.”
I whispered to my sister, “Do they even know that Chanukah is tomorrow? Fuckers.”
War on Christmas my ass.
Yeah, she gives like 2 fucks about shit. I notice age will give you the ability to call BS like you have the force.
Anyone else think ToTD should write a Bar Guide? I tried to make a Lenny Bruce the other night – equal parts gin, dilaudid and desperation, visibly shaken – but it ended in a horrible mess. I could really use a good Carrie Fisher recipe.
Gary mistook that glowstick for a hotdog in the Phish parking lot, and hasnt been able to lick or scratch his balls ever since.