Wang Dang, Doodle

Tell me this isn’t a Dave’s Pick cover for a ’68 release. Maybe early ’69. That little notch in the band’s history after they learned how to play but before they learned how to write songs. There were, like, 17 of ’em onstage and their soundman was the Most Famous Drug Dealer in America? And everybody’s instruments were made from wood and metal, and they had the same amplifiers that all the other bands did, and several band members did not need to shave all of their faces yet.

That little notch.

Although, you could just as easily find an image for another Dead era within David Lozeau’s portfolio. He’s having a sale today, and I’m not even getting a kickback for telling you that like I do when you buy books from Amazon I recommend. My reasons are noble and pure: the Grateful Dead (Or What’s Left Of ‘Em) should hire this guy. All the different Dead factions, too: Dead & Company should have him draw posters, and Rhino should have him draw record covers, and Phil should toss him off a bus in Milwaukee.

Remember all the Dead & Company posters? Remember how someone was so perturbed by them he resorted to elaborate dialogues with himself on the internet to try to explain away both bush and league? A good deal of them were skeleton-based and, as I alluded to, dreadful. But look at this:

Did they play San Diego? Because: boom, there’s your San Diego poster.

TotD, you’ll say, that artwork atop this text is certainly pleasing and theme-appropriate, but I think you overstate the terror that were the actual posters.

Oh, I’ll answer. Do I?

DID I, MOTHERFUCKER? I scream as drag you into a drainage canal and let the gators handle you. FUCKING DID I? But my screaming attracts attention, and locals save you. I flee, back into the swamp. Back into the only mother I’ve ever had. That’s why they call me Swampy.

Swampy? The character is from the swamp, and his name is Swampy? That’s lazier than usual.

I only did it so I could comment on it.

Deep.

Oh, yeah.

Aren’t you doing a commercial?

Kinda! Go to David Lozeau’s site and look at his art! Why? Because of shit like this:

That’s a whole movie right there. If you can’t tell yourself the whole story from that painting, you’ve no imagination at all. (It’s all in her right hand. There’s a lot of character reveal in that hand position.) It is also, as I mentioned, a Dave’s Pick cover waiting to happen. Just print the date and venue’s name on the bottom and ship ’em out.

I now present Reasons Why David Lemieux Should Hire David Lozeau for the Dave’s Picks Series:

Your irritating names So similar, and so unmemorably-vowelled that I need to look it up every. fucking. time. I only have three vowels in my names, Davids, and they are nowhere near one another. Are you people hoarding vowels for the winter?

Someone’s gotta draw the skeletons Let’s be honest with each other, Enthusiasts: there will be no further additions to the Dead’s iconography. The lookbook is set. Stealie, lightning bolt, those fucking bears, turtles, flying eyeball. And skeletons. The Grateful Dead’s merch is made out of skeletons, like that church in the Czech Republic. So: someone’s gotta draw the skeletons. Why not hire someone who is already skilled at the task?

Maybe he could draw those fucking bears as skeletons? Maybe I’d like them then. I don’t think so, but my mind is open to art’s possibilities.

Because he didn’t pick 9/11/83 for the new Dave’s Pick Which is bullshit. And personal, I believe, even though I never once broached the subject with David Lemieux. 9/11/83 from the second of two nights at Santa Fe Downs is a far superior show to the Boise gig from earlier in the month selected for the Pick. The second set is seamless and perfect, except for Wang Dang Doodle, which is so imperfect that it becomes glorious: an amp is exploding or the monitors have begun skittering away, one of those technical gremlins that the Dead carried with them around the country, and Bobby has to keep restarting the song; the band’s crankiness comes through their amps and the usually dire Wang Dang Doodle becomes a highlight.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: I have listened to 9/11/83* far more than I have 9/2, so therefore the former is the superior musical performance. If Mr. Lemieux can’t see that, then I have low hopes for the future.

Because of shit like this:

THAT IS GRATEFUL DEADY AS SHIT. That might be Grateful Deadier than certain former band members. (TC. Obviously, it’s TC.) Hire this man right now, David Lemieux. Go out to the lake, wait for it to get windy, and record a video about the Dead’s newest artist-in-residence.

Does David Lemieux have this kind of authority to be hiring artists?

I have no idea.

So why are you ordering him around as though he did?

Y’know what? He’s up there in the Hundred-Acre Wood harvesting his berries and peeping at bears, and his president is handsome and sane, and Come From Away just won Best Musical at the Tonys, and I could just bite through my hand in rageful jealousy.

At least it’s a logical reason.

Facts not feelings, brah.

*Both 9/11/83 and David Lozeau’s art brought to my attention by the ever-hip Mr. Completely. He’s just a useful human being to know.