Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

“No shit. Me, too.”

What did you do?

“Just about everything. You?”

Mostly sloth and envy.

“Lemme ask you something: if you hadn’t been told those were sins, would you know they were wrong?”

Probably not.

“Breathe easy, then.”

Thank you, Father.

“No worries. You got anything for the collection plate?”

I don’t have any cash.

“I’ll take your watch.”

Dominus vobiscum.

“Allahu akbar.”