Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Christmas Homily

And THE LORD created man, and when He was done, man worshiped and made thanks and had several questions.

“Do we have speed?”

THE LORD said that man did not.

“Are we strong?”

THE LORD said that man was not.

“Where are our claws?”

THE LORD’s head is the size of America, and His shoulders are each like oceans. He shrugged them and said,

“No claws. I gave you thumbs, though.”

Man answered,

“You gave them to gorillas, too.”

THE LORD said,

“So I did. So I did.”

And man did list off so many useful traits to be born with: eyesight like a hawk, or a nose like a bloodhound; skin like a rhino, or skin like a cuttlefish; venom like a snake, or poison like a frog.

THE LORD shrugged His shoulders once more.

And man said,

“Then what have You given us?”

THE LORD said,

“Each other.”

And then He took no further questions.


  1. I love you too man, thanks for being here
    heck that goes for All of ya!
    Peace and joy for us all this day

  2. That was nice,

    Rather succinct I say, did someone donate an editor ?

    (Just kidding.. please don’t ban me for making editorial comments)

    Merry Christmas


  3. Could have used this on the 25th. Happy Merry to all.

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