(CURTAIN UP on a DINGY OFFICE WHERE BUSINESS IS DONE AND MEN WORK. A fan is blowing back and forth. HARVEY WEINSTEIN (played by Rebecca Pidgeon) is reclining on the couch in a bathrobe. His secretary, GIRL (also played by Rebecca Pidgeon) enters with a box of donuts.
“Did you get–”
“The ones you…yeah, I–”
“They had ’em? Cuz sometimes–”
“I got ’em.”
“No reason they shouldn’t have ’em all the time.”
“Things run out, Harv.”
“Fuck that.”
“I got ’em. Triple-chocolate. I got ’em. You don’t gotta worry about that.”
“What do I gotta worry about?”
“What?”
“You just said–”
“Are you in a mood now?”
“–that I don’t…don’t worry about my fucking mood…that I don’t got anything–”
“Jesus, Harvey.”
“–to worry about as far as the donut situation goes.”
“You don’t!”
“But what do I?”
“What do you–”
“Girl–”
“–what? I don’t understand–”
“You don’t understand a lot. You don’t understand SHITFUCK about DICK.”
“You’re yelling.”
“A MAN YELLS. This is what MEN DO. We work and we yell and by that you shall know our works. Now COME OVER HERE and LET ME SQUEEZE YOUR TITTYBALLS.”
“What? No.”
“TITTYBALLS!”
I’m going to stop this right here before it gets even dumber.
What? I’m a playwright.
You’re a playwrong.
I see what you did there. It was dreadful, but I see it.
Just move on. Next topic.
I have a short story idea about Te-Nahisi Coates living on a planet where Black Panther only gets shown once every seven years, but the other kids lock him in a closet that day.
Not that topic.
Fine.
Comment section:
The boys (or what is left of them) are in ToTD’s backyard in 2 days.
He may just need moral support, or he may need us to pay him the money we owe him for all the laughs he has brought.
Tickets are available, rooms nearby are available but expensive. Not sure he needs a room. A writer should suffer and sleep in his car while waiting for traffic to ebb.
ToTD has loaned us laughs and more, and we need to pay him back.
–tor
I am not sure my post was clear, hit the donate button, send ToTD to a show!
already a musical about it — http://www.castingcallhollywood.com